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I am me and I am unshakable; Colgate supplement



LizzKnu 1 / -  
Dec 10, 2013   #1
In 150-200 words, please tell us what inspired you to apply for admission to Colgate University?

What type of person am I to become through the school I attend? I am me and I am unshakable, but I openly acknowledge that every situation I have ever been a part of has added to the rich and diverse body that is me, Elizabeth Knudsen. College will do the same, but on a more serious level. I need a school that will nourish the entirety of my being. Inspiration is inexplicable; it is something that blossoms from the soul. Why am I inspired by Colgate and not by schools that are uncannily similar? I think the only real explanation is passion. I became passionate about Colgate in an unusual way: through the picture-postcards I received. I am not so foolish as to judge a school by its appearance, but what intrigued me was the way the institution presented itself. It was a strange mixture of pride, creativity and authority. However, more than that, it radiated warmth. There was a depth to every picture I received, whether it was laughing students sprawled across the lawn or simply an exquisite sunset peeking over the lake. I am ready to be encapsulated by that warmth, to become part of Colgate.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 10, 2013   #2
What type of person am I to become through the school I attend?

What type of person I'd become with the influence of the college I attend?

I am me and I am unshakable, but I openly acknowledge that every situation I have ever been a part of has added to the rich and diverse body that is me, Elizabeth Knudsen

... you need to enhance clarity of this sentence....not very clearly presented :(
I know I am myself having a strong identity, but I openly acknowledge that every situation or experience I have encountered has enriched my personality with a flavor of diversity forming a new Elizabeth Knudsen.

Why am I inspired by Colgate and not by schools that are uncannily similar?

I feel you don't have to repeat this question... Keep answering because it is implied.


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