"The Most Unusual Places" University of Washington Short Response: A

1. Prompt: Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.
This essay is nowhere near finished, and it doesn't even have an ending. But I'd still like your opinion on it if you can. :) Pretty much, the few weeks around this festival and meeting Sally Ride were when I realized that science could be fun, and interesting. And it was then too that I fell in love with it--hence, it became a definition of my character, because from then on I have always just assumed that I would study science in college, and I have applied myself in every way I could.

So, let me know what you think of it so far, and give me any advice you think might help! Everything and anything is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

It is amazing the places that we meet the most extraordinary people in our lives. I don't generally consider myself a forward character, but every child feels that natural urge to talk to every person they come across. When I was young, I attended a science festival with my parents; I was not enchanted by the idea of sciences at that age, but that fair was so well designed to attract children to the subject that by the end of that day I had developed a great fascination to the mystery of physics and chemistry among others. They had speakers there, famous speakers, for every field imaginable-biochemistry, , nuclear physics, medicine, marine biology, astronomy-anything you could think of was represented by one person or another, but the one that enamored me the most was the talk about space, about aeronautics engineering and physics. One woman in particular can be given a large amount of credit for this love: Sally Ride.

She did not speak at this particular festival, no, but at this festival, I did get an amazing chance to meet her, in person, in one of the most unusual places-the bathroom. I have been told that when the festival was over, my family went together to the bathrooms, and I was the last one out. I had been too short at the time to properly reach all the way to turn on the sink. Luckily, a very nice woman was there at the same time as I was and she, being so kind, turned on the sink for me and waited until I was completely finished so that she could turn it off as well. Now, being a child I possessed that urge to start a conversation with anyone who happens to be there to listen, and this happened to be the lucky woman. Now, once you start a child going, it becomes very hard to end it. We began with the simple things-names, where you were born, where you live now, what you like-and it turned out that we had a lot in common, at least to a small child like me, because we both loved science. Although I was fairly new to the subject, I had already decided that I loved it dearly. I came out of the bathroom skipping over to my mom and dad, patiently waiting for me outside the door, and announced my exciting news: I had met another girl who loved science (quite an accomplishment I felt). And then she followed and my parents looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Do you know who that is?" they asked.

And, with a smile stretching from ear to ear, I replied very matter-of-factly, "Of course I do. That's Sally. I met her in the bathroom."

I really like this essay! I like how you described that moment and although you are talking about meeting this person, you have mostly directed the essay about yourself which is the goal.

Here is my supposed "finished" draft. Any suggestions?

1. Prompt: Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.

Who We Are
It is amazing the places that we meet the most extraordinary people in our lives. I don't generally consider myself a forward character, but every child feels that natural urge to talk to every person they come across. When I was young, I attended a science festival with my parents; I was not enchanted by the idea of sciences at that age, but that fair was so well designed to attract children to the subject that by the end of that day I had developed a great fascination to the mystery of physics and chemistry among others. They had speakers there, famous speakers, for every field imaginable-biochemistry, , nuclear physics, medicine, marine biology, astronomy-anything you could think of was represented by one person or another, but the one that enamored me the most was the talk about space, about aeronautics engineering and physics. One woman in particular can be given a large amount of credit for this love: Sally Ride.

She did not speak at this particular festival, no, but there I did get an amazing chance to meet her, in person, in one of the most unusual places-the bathroom. I have been told that when the festival was over, my family went together to the bathrooms, and I was the last one out. I had been too short at the time to properly reach all the way to turn on the sink. Luckily, a very nice woman was there at the same time as I was and she, being so kind, turned on the sink for me and waited until I was completely finished to turn it off as well. Now, being a child I possessed that urge to start a conversation with anyone and everyone who might listen, and this happened to be the lucky woman. Now, once you start a child going, it becomes very hard to end it. We began with the simple things-names, where you were born, what you like, what you do-and it turned out that we had a lot in common, at least to a small child like me, because we both loved science-regardless of the fact that I was fairly new to the subject, I had already decided that I loved it dearly. I came out of the bathroom skipping to my mom and dad, patiently waiting for me outside the door, and announced my exciting news: I had met this other girl who loved science (quite an accomplishment I felt). And then she followed out and my parents looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Do you know who that is?" they asked.
And, with a smile stretching from ear to ear, I replied very matter-of-factly, "Of course I do. That's Sally. I met her in the bathroom."

Over the next few months I went to see her speak as often as I could; she announced a new science camp for girls that she was setting up where you could sign up for any and every discipline you wanted to learn about. Naturally, I was incredibly interested in such an opportunity. She was my idol, and I might get a chance to work right next to her-what little kid wouldn't love that.

That camp was one of the best experiences of my life. She helped me find a passion for something that I barely knew existed until then. Every time I heard her speak it only reinforced in my small mind that this is what I wanted to do with my life, study science. It intrigued me, invited me in with open arms; if there ever was one moment in a life that defines who we are when we grow up, then this was mine. It has never and will never change.