The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
"Unworthy champion"
Time was running out. My eyes gazed quickly through the numbers. I wrote down the binary operations' answers as fast as possible. 8 minutes was hardly enough for me to finish the whole test, but more than three-quarters was not bad. Suddenly the bell rang. "Time's up!"; I dropped my pencil and sighed with relief. Now it would be the harder part of the competition: waiting for the results.
When I was at grade 5, I started to take a course called the UCMAS program, which used the abacus to help children solve complex arithmetic problems and enhance their brain power. I was extremely interested by the program, and after two years of constant effort, I achieved first place in the National Competition, and then fourth place in the International Competition. In the following year, I aimed to become the champion once more in the National Competition. I was absolutely confident in my ability, although I knew that the contest would be comparably harder as all other competitors would have trained really hard. However, I also felt pressured, as many people, such as my family and the teachers, expected me to perform even better in this year's competition.
The moment had finally came. The announcer started to read the list of the winners. Consolation prizes. Third place. Runner-up. Still not me. I became more and more irritated. Would it be me? Would my wish come true?
"And finally, congratulates to Nguyen Duc Huy, our champion!"
I couldn't resist smiling while walking towards the podium. Everything went unbelievably smoothly for me.
Or so I thought.
"We have a special case here", the announcer continued, "One person actually got the higher score than the winner. However, he didn't come in time for the competition, which was against the rules, so we had to discard his result. But his score was really impressive, so we gladly invite him to come here and share the podium with the winner. His name is..."
My smile faded away as I saw the unlucky student moved to the podium and stood right next to me with a disappointed face. I knew I should have said something to comfort him, but I was rendered speechless.
The following two months was really hard for me. For the first few days, the only thing I would thought of was that failure. If only I had been a little faster, I wouldn't have to be ashamed that I didn't deserve the first place. Both congratulations or consolation words from my family and friends only made me feel worse. Moreover, some people who doubted my ability said that the other student should replace me to participate in the International Competition. I was depressed to hear that and had almost given up my slot.
However, when I calmed down, I realized that giving up would be the worst decision. If I gave up, I would always be remembered as the "Unworthy champion". But if I joined the International Competition, I would have a chance to prove that what I have achieved was not just because I was lucky. Even if I didn't success, people would have to recognize my effort. So under all these pressure, I still decided to kept participating in the competition. I spent all my time practicing, because I knew that any amount of training wouldn't be enough. I had to become faster and more accurate.
All those effort finally paid off. I eventually became the Runner-up in the International Competition.
Now when I look back those two months, it was not just suffering; it was a lesson about getting back from my feet after failure. Had I given up, I would have missed the precious chance to freed myself from the "Unworthy Champion" title. Now any failure wouldn't frustrate me. It would instead become a stimuli for me to become a better person.
Thanks for reading!
Any suggests/criticisms would be welcomed."Time's up!"; --> delete the semicolon here.
"Unworthy champion". --> the period goes inside the quotes.
Even if I didn't success --> succeed, not success, is the verb you need here.
I like the narrative beginning because it paints a clear picture of the events occurring. However, I think it got too descriptive, so you should cut down a little bit. Still keep the story-telling style, but get to the point faster. Also, you need to focus more on what you actually did to improve yourself. You have to show them what actions you took to succeed after failing. So, slightly less in the beginning, and more on the conclusion and what you learned from all of this.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Huy, you don't really need the long explanation about UCMAS in the second paragraph. It only makes the essay unnecessarily long and doesn't really move the story forward. The back story is totally unnecessary. Instead, consider using the dialogue straight through half of the essay. That way, the reviewer is shown how the events unfolded instead of being told how it happened. That will create the interest in his mind because, everyone loves reading a good story and an application essay is no different when presented in the proper manner.
The overall story is solid. it tells the story of success and failure simultaneously. Thus making the failure more bittersweet for you. It isn't really a failure because you won the competition fairly. Yet, it was a failure because you won on a technicality. The way that you rebounded from the experience shows a determined person who will not allow the opinions of others to dictate his direction in life. That is a very strong character trait that can help you survive in college and I am sure it will make the reviewer remember you as well.
