USC HOPEFUL ("passion is striving")

The 18th century French philosopher Denis Diderot said, "Only passions, great passions can elevate the soul to great things." Describe one of your passions and reflect on how it has contributed to your personal growth.

My passion is striving to become the best I can be. My passion inflamed in 2004. Upon leaving high school I was completely lost. All my friends knew the direction they wanted to head in to and as for me, well I was simply confused. So, waiting too patiently for the light to hit me I would work endless low waged jobs and wait to be discovered or approached on to find what I was looking for. Rather than looking for it myself.

My mother, who is an uneducated woman from Addis Abba Ethiopia, always pushed me to school and as for my father he was the patient man who always waited for me to be "ready". As the time kept ticking he invited me to move overseas for a few months to see a different part of the world. As a typical American not knowing anything beyond our borders I flew 22 hrs across the globe to end up in one of the poorest countries in the world Afghanistan. Seeing famine and destruction was heart-wrenching and brought this light I was searching for my years. I always seen the commercials and donation boxes but never thought twice about them. I suppose that was my selfish side showing. While I was overseas I was fortunate enough to meet with numerous people like myself. I volunteered with organization in fields of education. It wasn't until I spoke with a woman by the name of Mary Srimp who mentored me. Mary a U.S Citizen left Louisiana after Katrina hit. She lost her home and her husband. She then came to Afghanistan to work as an English Teacher to help locals get higher paying jobs with government organizations. She encouraged me to return home and complete my education so I can return and give back. So after spending 2 eye opening years overseas I knew what I wanted to do and how to do it. I returned back to America and enrolled in my local community college and quickly climbed the latter. I was dedicated and determined to make up for lost time. I knew what I wanted to do at this point so taking 18 units per semester didn't affect me at all. I was driven and noting could stop me.

My goal is to complete my higher education with USC. I would like to receive a Masters degree in Political Science Emphazing in International Relations. After completion I want to return back overseas and help local communities to stop hunger and promote education. I know this is all possible. This is America, the land that is built upon endless opportunity you can do anything your heart desires. All you need for it is passion.

This essay has potential. Some suggestions:

"As a typical American not knowing anything beyond our borders I flew 22 hrs across the globe to end up in one of the poorest countries in the world Afghanistan." While my Canadian background urges me to agree with your implication that the typical American doesn't know anything about global affairs, perhaps it is an assertion you don't want to make in application essay?

"It wasn't until I spoke with a woman by the name of Mary Srimp who mentored me." This is not a complete sentence.

"Seeing famine and destruction was heart-wrenching and brought this light I was searching for my years. " This sounds like an excellent place to add in a specific anecdote explaining what changed your attitude.

This first sentence should be more specific... what is your intended major?

All my friends knew the direction they wanted to head in to, but , as for me... well I was simply confused.

or approached on to find what I needed -- rather than looking for it myself.

I returned back to America and ...

Ahh, pol. sci! That is a great choice! Okay, mention that at the start of the essay!!! :) Now, how does this passion you describe, which is related to your background, lead you to pol. sci.??? That is a connection that should be a focus of this essay.