Hi! I need help on editing my essay for UVA Supp. Please tell me if it makes sense or if it is strong. Please feel free to be harsh! Thanks
What work of art, music, science, mathematics or literature has surprised, unsettled or challenged you, and in what way?
I was ten years old when I had my first business failure. Glaring at the few coins I had in my safety box, I knew I had been too mellow of a broker. I had sold masterpieces for 50 cents, 75 cents apiece. My produce were not exactly Van Goghs or Renoirs, but they were what every 6th grader wanted: a personalized cartoon figure of him or herself to hang at him or her locker. These were one-of-a-kind and painstakingly drawn by my sister. Surprisingly, they had become a fad. Their popularity rose to the point where posters were plastered in every kid's locker. Not having been trained for this bandwagon effect, I lost potential profit. As the demand rose, my prices remained low and were even lowered. I earned 15 dollars whereas I could have gained more profit particularly since my business had created a monopoly over locker decor. The supply and demand curve, which I finally learned a few years later, brought me into terms with my ignorance and retail flop.
Six years later, I am a senior in high school, searching for a way to raise money for my service club. The product we found was handmade Srunchies, or gaudy hair elastics from the 80's. They are unique yet were not trendy at Visitation. The demand was low because the supply was high. Solution: limit the supply; advertise and sell only 5 coveted ones at a time. Solution 2: Create a higher marginal utility; make them in a variety of different patterns therefore after buying one pattern the consumer will desire the other patterns. It worked. Grand total selling scrunchies: 261 dollars toward education for women in Lare, Kenya. The fundamental backbone of economic education has helped me become make a difference in the world, outside my 6th grade class room and the States. With hope, one day these women will also learn the basics of economics to enable them to earn a better living and future for themselves.
What work of art, music, science, mathematics or literature has surprised, unsettled or challenged you, and in what way?
I was ten years old when I had my first business failure. Glaring at the few coins I had in my safety box, I knew I had been too mellow of a broker. I had sold masterpieces for 50 cents, 75 cents apiece. My produce were not exactly Van Goghs or Renoirs, but they were what every 6th grader wanted: a personalized cartoon figure of him or herself to hang at him or her locker. These were one-of-a-kind and painstakingly drawn by my sister. Surprisingly, they had become a fad. Their popularity rose to the point where posters were plastered in every kid's locker. Not having been trained for this bandwagon effect, I lost potential profit. As the demand rose, my prices remained low and were even lowered. I earned 15 dollars whereas I could have gained more profit particularly since my business had created a monopoly over locker decor. The supply and demand curve, which I finally learned a few years later, brought me into terms with my ignorance and retail flop.
Six years later, I am a senior in high school, searching for a way to raise money for my service club. The product we found was handmade Srunchies, or gaudy hair elastics from the 80's. They are unique yet were not trendy at Visitation. The demand was low because the supply was high. Solution: limit the supply; advertise and sell only 5 coveted ones at a time. Solution 2: Create a higher marginal utility; make them in a variety of different patterns therefore after buying one pattern the consumer will desire the other patterns. It worked. Grand total selling scrunchies: 261 dollars toward education for women in Lare, Kenya. The fundamental backbone of economic education has helped me become make a difference in the world, outside my 6th grade class room and the States. With hope, one day these women will also learn the basics of economics to enable them to earn a better living and future for themselves.