1. What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?
As a child, my conservative grandmother told me that homosexuality was a choice. I was too young to understand what that meant but I accepted it as a fact; in doing so, however, I unknowingly denied myself the opportunity to think independently. It wasn't until several years later, when I visited a used-books store and selected a text entitled Neuroscience, that I would begin to correct my mistake.
In one of book's chapters, it cites studies that identified neuroanatomical differences between hetero- and homosexual males that could influence their sexual orientation. Initially, I was uncertain of whether or not to continue- afraid of the answers it might contain. But I kept on reading; drawn by the question of if one's sexuality is a choice.
Unfortunately, the book was inconclusive, so I began to research extensively, digging through various journals and texts. All provided me a myriad of information regarding the brain, but none gave me a substantial answer. I was disappointed that my effort had led to mere ambiguity. But then I realized what I gained along with it; I managed to expunge my grandmother's notions and instilled my own beliefs - I became acquainted with the brain, inspired to further study the mechanisms that allow people to be who they are. And, most significantly, I discovered my passion: neurology. From that moment forward I made it my aspiration to become a neurologist, so that I could preserve the minds and abilities of others.
You can improve your writing by omitting "that" whenever you get the chance. Kill the little weasel, or it'll suck the power out of your sentence. :-)
As a child, my conservative grandmother told me that homosexuality was a choice. I was too ...
a used-books store and selected a text entitled Neuroscience neuroscience, that I would begin to correct my mistake.
Just take out all unnecessary words. Readers like to do some of the work:
In one of book's chapters, it One chapter cites studies that identified identify neuroanatomical differences between...
All provided me a myriad of information ... do this a different way. Myriad is followed by a countable noun, I'm pretty sure.
Okay, excellent stuff here. Get specific about your goals. :-) Use a more descriptive thread title next time you post on essayforum. :-)
