hey guys, this is an essay i wrote for the common app, i was wondering if anyone could edit it or let me know of ways i can improve it.
My encounter with the Virginia Supreme Court at the final appellate round of the state mock trial competition was worth so much more than an opportunity to gloss my resume. Never had my nerves been tested to such an extent, and never had my speakings abilities been pushed to such an extent. This experience truly began five minutes before my cohort and I were called from the docket, as it began when I shaking with the immense adrenaline rush. I could not think. I could not breathe. I could not move. Shaking and feeling sick to the stomach, I could only wait and bend over to avoid the constant urge to let the contents of my breakfast rush out of me. It got worse as the moment approached, it got worse as the seven members of Virginia Supreme Court present mocked and questioned every argument of every team. Just before me, some poor team was immediately interrupted and was asked to make some sense. The other extreme was also persistent, as some of the justices were dozing off as if acknowledging that there was nothing of value was being said by any of the students. My partner and I were finally called from the docket. This was my chance, I thought, to finally see if this was where I belonged. I cringed as the seven deadly sets of lasers seeped through my skin, as the deadly eyes of the fellow participants scorched my back as I approached the appellant lawyers' desk. I gulped. I took a deep breath and whisked down two glasses of water from the pitchers available. I sat down and watched as my nervous opponents stated point after point accompanied by the approving nods of the justices that had not dozed off yet. My partner made her points first, as I waited there fumbling with my notecards unable to even focus on the task and pressure that lay ahead. It seemed like it was my turn to approach justices a mere five seconds after I had sat down, but in reality a short-paced ten minutes had already flown by. I stood up with wobbly knees, shaking wrists, and sweaty palms. I approached the justices barely hanging on to the edges of my notecards, unable to feel, think, or express. I reached the podium looked up at saw the bored expressions of seven justices already ready for me to be finished. I stood still, froze, and told myself that this would be an opportunity that I would regret to have lost if I did not speak up and speak with confidence. I looked back down to my notes, looked back up, and began making my points with a growing sense of confidence. Three minutes in, I continued and amazed at not even being interrupted once. Until, the head justice spoke up and asked me, "Is that really enough evidence to support an appeal?" I froze for an instance, recollected my thoughts, and spoke with a level of confidence that even surprises me when I think about that moment now and then. I continued and answered the question, as if it had not even fazed me. I realized at that moment that confidence accompanied with a long breath are a deadly combination. I finished my points, strode back to my desk and then back to the bench with the moving of the docket. I had persevered, and it had finally all clicked in my brain. It had clicked that however hard or strenuous the path ahead may be, the art of law and political science was where my future lay.
I realized that even judges could be human beings, and that pressure was truly a spark for confidence and greatness. However cliche it may sound in the end, quitting or not facing your fears is truly the own way to failure. Success is not a case lost or in this won, success is the feeling of satisfaction and belonging that insinuates and envelops your entire body when one has found the place in this world where one feels he belongs.
My encounter with the Virginia Supreme Court at the final appellate round of the state mock trial competition was worth so much more than an opportunity to gloss my resume. Never had my nerves been tested to such an extent, and never had my speakings abilities been pushed to such an extent. This experience truly began five minutes before my cohort and I were called from the docket, as it began when I shaking with the immense adrenaline rush. I could not think. I could not breathe. I could not move. Shaking and feeling sick to the stomach, I could only wait and bend over to avoid the constant urge to let the contents of my breakfast rush out of me. It got worse as the moment approached, it got worse as the seven members of Virginia Supreme Court present mocked and questioned every argument of every team. Just before me, some poor team was immediately interrupted and was asked to make some sense. The other extreme was also persistent, as some of the justices were dozing off as if acknowledging that there was nothing of value was being said by any of the students. My partner and I were finally called from the docket. This was my chance, I thought, to finally see if this was where I belonged. I cringed as the seven deadly sets of lasers seeped through my skin, as the deadly eyes of the fellow participants scorched my back as I approached the appellant lawyers' desk. I gulped. I took a deep breath and whisked down two glasses of water from the pitchers available. I sat down and watched as my nervous opponents stated point after point accompanied by the approving nods of the justices that had not dozed off yet. My partner made her points first, as I waited there fumbling with my notecards unable to even focus on the task and pressure that lay ahead. It seemed like it was my turn to approach justices a mere five seconds after I had sat down, but in reality a short-paced ten minutes had already flown by. I stood up with wobbly knees, shaking wrists, and sweaty palms. I approached the justices barely hanging on to the edges of my notecards, unable to feel, think, or express. I reached the podium looked up at saw the bored expressions of seven justices already ready for me to be finished. I stood still, froze, and told myself that this would be an opportunity that I would regret to have lost if I did not speak up and speak with confidence. I looked back down to my notes, looked back up, and began making my points with a growing sense of confidence. Three minutes in, I continued and amazed at not even being interrupted once. Until, the head justice spoke up and asked me, "Is that really enough evidence to support an appeal?" I froze for an instance, recollected my thoughts, and spoke with a level of confidence that even surprises me when I think about that moment now and then. I continued and answered the question, as if it had not even fazed me. I realized at that moment that confidence accompanied with a long breath are a deadly combination. I finished my points, strode back to my desk and then back to the bench with the moving of the docket. I had persevered, and it had finally all clicked in my brain. It had clicked that however hard or strenuous the path ahead may be, the art of law and political science was where my future lay.
I realized that even judges could be human beings, and that pressure was truly a spark for confidence and greatness. However cliche it may sound in the end, quitting or not facing your fears is truly the own way to failure. Success is not a case lost or in this won, success is the feeling of satisfaction and belonging that insinuates and envelops your entire body when one has found the place in this world where one feels he belongs.
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