visiting the MINDs school - Common app short question

Pls help me to edit this answer for the short question
Tnks alot

I am please that I had the opportunity to become involved in visiting the MINDs school ( school for mentally disabled student ) because I have learned how to show sympathy and tolerance towards learning disability children.Last year,I planned a day with full of activities for the mentally disable student.However,the students there , learned very slowly and were not able to talk.Therefore I must use a lot of body language and extreme facial expression to communicate with them.Though It was very frustrated and tiring,trying to convey my messages to them,I was extremely happy to see them smile and have fun.At that moment I realize that I should not give up easily on anything.These children have taught me that I can be success at anything as long as I give it my best .

Here is a slightly revised version that eliminates some minor grammatical errors:

I am pleased that I had the opportunity to visit the MINDs school (a school for mentally disabled students) because doing so taught me how to show sympathy and compassion for children with learning disabilities. Last year,I planned a day with full of activities for the mentally disabled students. However,the students there learned very slowly and were unable to talk.Therefore, I had to use a lot of body language and extreme facial expressions to communicate with them.Though trying to convey my messages to them was very frustrating and tiring, I was extremely happy to see them smile and have fun.At that moment I realized that I should not give up easily on anything. These children have taught me that I can be success at anything as long as I give it my best.

Adding on to the revised version, if I'm not wrong it should be "MINDS" and not "MINDs".

"day with full of activities" can be shortened to "day camp".

"the students there learned very slowly". "there" appears redundant to me.

"use a lot" can be shortened to "make use"

The last two sentences seem abrupt. You need to show the link between the children's smiles and your learning. I don't see how you could suddenly realised something and how the children suddenly taught you about success. You could type in more of your thought process.

Something I think that you need to improve

+/ In the last sentence, I think that it should be "...I can be successful..." or "...I can succeed..."

+/ I think your idea may be incoherent, because the behaviors you gave doesn't explain clearly why you should not give up

Maybe you could write: "I am pleased to have had the opportunity..."

However, it's not good to say "have" and "had" too much. When you write "have" done this and "had" done that, it is not quite as good as just using the past tense, like this:

These children taught me that I can be...

Instead of, "these children have taught..."