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Volleyball. Explain about an interest you have pursued outside your academic classes



FengLun 1 / -  
Nov 3, 2019   #1
Hello! I'm new to this forum!
I'm currently applying for an International University in Japan, and I needed some help on my essay.
This is one of the essay question:
Explain about an interest you have pursued outside your academic classes. What knowledge or skills did you gain as a result? ~150 words

I've never written an College Application essay before and this is my first attempt, so I would like some advice. Thank you in advance

A Passion for Volleyball



Two years ago, I was absolutely fascinated by a Volleyball match between Japan and Brazil featured on Television. It was around this time that I have developed an avid interest in Volleyball and began playing the sport. Soon after, Volleyball has become one of my favorite recreational activities to relieve stress that are bound to come with schoolwork; and often play it after school. Eventually, I have founded my High School's Volleyball team and became the team captain. Through playing Volleyball, I have acquired great teamwork skills, efficiently coordinating with my teammates to score. I am also greatly inspired by the philosophy of Volleyball: a Volleyball player must always look up, regardless of where he or she is; helping me to realize that it is important to stay positive, no matter dreadful the situation. If given the opportunity, I would continue to play Volleyball during my University year and join the University's Volleyball team.

Cuong Trinh 2 / 4  
Nov 7, 2019   #2
Your essay is so good and if you can change "team captain" to "team's captain" grammatically, I believe it will be better.


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