Prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).
"Initially, I was anxious about volunteering at Huntington Hospital, where I'd be in constant contact with the sick, injured, and disabled. It was awkward at first, but after a few days the awkwardness gave way to a deep satisfaction. Each day, I help bring a smile to those I bring food, flowers, and linens to. Many of these patients engage me in conversation, sharing their life experiences and even asking about mine. I've come to look forward to seeing these amazing people, who, despite their ailments, don't complain.
More recently, I started to work in the medical records department. While I have less contact with the patient population in this role, I always take the time to visit them before I leave, to help brighten their days. I am reminded each day how fortunate I am to have good health and of the rewards of helping those who don't."
Many of these patients engage me in conversation, sharing their life experiences and even asking about mine.
This sentence sounds a little bit awkward. I think it should be Many patients started conversation with me, sharing their life experiences.
Overall, its a well-organized essay! Good luck!
Many of these patients engage me in conversation, sharing their life experiences and even asking about mine.
I got rid of some unnecessary words, there, but other than that I would not change anything. This is impressive!
