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Volunteering in a memorial hall; COMMON APP/ Significant Experience



qewrerqw 1 / -  
Jan 7, 2013   #1
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

They were yawning loudly, with busy eyeballs. Some even ran to their moms.

How did I do this?

Every Saturday at 2 p.m., I lead an English tour for children and talk about the exhibitions at P Memorial Hall. I was very honored to be in charge of the program and help continue the invaluable legacy that the Nobel-Prize-winning female author had left in S.

I still cannot forget my first tour, watching the glittering eyes of my first little guests. Their excitement was contagious, and I began the first tour with a pounding heart. However, as I talked excitedly about P's life, I started to notice something. The enthusiastic eyes and bright smiles faded away. Some kids just sat down on the floor, some blurted to their parents nearby that they were tired. The excitement died.

I was shocked. It felt as if all the confidence I had was dissipating. I didn't know what to do. I told to myself, "Finish the tour, finish the tour..." After it finally concluded, I heard a mother talking to her children. "You must have had a hard time listening to it... Good job coping". Later, I even read a blog post saying that the guided tour program was not recommended to take.

After reading the blog post, I was so shocked that my mind just froze for a few seconds. Then, I began rationalizing: Who cares if those children do not listen to me? They are not mature enough to listen attentively and appreciate what I am saying.

The rationalization did not last long, however. It felt sad that there seemed to be no way to solve this problem of mine. Then it felt unfair. Yet, it was my behavior, not the kids', that was unfair. As an active member of my school's forensics and MUN club, I have been the one who always sharply points out the flaws in our society and how we should solve them. Every day I would skim through the newspaper and passionately critique about how this policy is ineffective and how this verdict is wrong. But, in reality, what was I to critique about the social issues when I could not even solve my personal problem?

The next day, I arrived at the Memorial Hall hours in advance. I carefully reviewed the displays and questioned what made the guided tour boring. I decided to reduce the English content but did not discard the educational purpose and focused on teaching new English vocabularies instead. I discovered colorful pictures as visual aids and prepared fun quizzes about the exhibition and sweets as rewards. Most importantly, I ran many practice tours so that I could be confident in front of the kids.

Weeks passed after running through the modified tour. I was still not completely sure if it wasn't boring anymore. Then one day, right after the end of the tour, a girl shyly came to me and said, "Th...Thank you for the tour. I liked it so much. I learned a lot from it." The words imparted the feeling of reward and confidence, and I also thanked her myself.

It is always difficult to accept it when the problem lies within us. However, I know that reflecting upon oneself is necessary to be truly committed to the well-being of the community. I also know I harbor a lot of other chronic flaws that hinder my growth. In college and beyond, I want to keep challenging these faults so that one day I could truly contribute to my community.

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Thank you.

Jennyflower81 - / 674  
Jan 7, 2013   #2
Hi :) Your essay is excellent. I have one little suggestion on this sentence:

I also know I harbor a lot of other chronic flaws that hinder my growth.
I don't think this is a good fit for your 2nd to last sentence. Can you replace this with something more positive? You did a great job solving the dilemma and relieved the strain on the tour situation, for yourself and for the families taking the tour. Maybe you could say that you are now capable of overcoming a personal weakness by using your innate problem-solving skills.

Nice work on your paper. Good luck in school :)


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