The essay is for common app personal essay.
To Walk
I have walking problem. My feet tendons are naturally tight. It would be very difficult for me to dance like a normal ballet dancer. They have keep their musical soft and warm, but I have stiff, cool legs that makes me move un freely. However, this shortage didn't make me withdraw from the performance trial. I signed up for the ballet performance elect sheet and waited for notification of school. At the day of pre-act, I still couldn't overcome the tightness leg, then my name was abolished from the list. That was happened when I was 3 grade.
I visited a Pediatric Orthopaedist. Sitting on a circular-shape stool let the doctor tastes my leg function by his hand, then I watch him quickly draft the pen go though the a paper and put it into my medical record folder. He arranges a Motion Analysis examination for me. It is a professional examination for Cerebral Palsy kids who are going to have an operation. During the outpatient service, the doctor tells me a cruel fact about my illness: I will never be a normal person because CP will influence my entire life, the only way to alleviate the pain of tightness tendon is to exercise all the time.
The bloody fact harasses my nights. I keep on thinking I am a doubtless handicap, I can no longer dance with that pretty ballet clothe. No only that, I will never be treated as those normal kids, all those negative thoughts full of my mind after the diagnosis.
I've ironically grown healthier than other people. It enhances my potential. Being a defect young girl has certainly advantages. Rehabilitation is the best way to relieve the tightness of my legs. It also helps me to maintain the best body shape. I also emphasize on dietary for not eating too much, so I can walk easier. My friends and other peers also admire on my fit body shape because I exercise more than people at my age. I am asked to do exercises regularly while others are crezy in those fashionable losing weight therapies.
I used to long for strong confident people encourage me to have strong will and faih, in other word, I customary asked people giving me help without doing any of trials. However, my confident grows when I reslize that I have better physical advantages than others.
I have several questions for this essay:
1)). I don't know which topic is suitable for this essay, please give me some advices. There are topics that I choice for that essay:
1). Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
2). A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
3). Topic of your choice.
2)). Please check my grammar, word usage.
3)). Is this a good topic (to walk/walking) for this essay? Should I change? If yes, please give me some ideas and thoughts.
4)). Overall suggestion.
Thanks!!!
To Walk
I have walking problem. My feet tendons are naturally tight. It would be very difficult for me to dance like a normal ballet dancer. They have keep their musical soft and warm, but I have stiff, cool legs that makes me move un freely. However, this shortage didn't make me withdraw from the performance trial. I signed up for the ballet performance elect sheet and waited for notification of school. At the day of pre-act, I still couldn't overcome the tightness leg, then my name was abolished from the list. That was happened when I was 3 grade.
I visited a Pediatric Orthopaedist. Sitting on a circular-shape stool let the doctor tastes my leg function by his hand, then I watch him quickly draft the pen go though the a paper and put it into my medical record folder. He arranges a Motion Analysis examination for me. It is a professional examination for Cerebral Palsy kids who are going to have an operation. During the outpatient service, the doctor tells me a cruel fact about my illness: I will never be a normal person because CP will influence my entire life, the only way to alleviate the pain of tightness tendon is to exercise all the time.
The bloody fact harasses my nights. I keep on thinking I am a doubtless handicap, I can no longer dance with that pretty ballet clothe. No only that, I will never be treated as those normal kids, all those negative thoughts full of my mind after the diagnosis.
I've ironically grown healthier than other people. It enhances my potential. Being a defect young girl has certainly advantages. Rehabilitation is the best way to relieve the tightness of my legs. It also helps me to maintain the best body shape. I also emphasize on dietary for not eating too much, so I can walk easier. My friends and other peers also admire on my fit body shape because I exercise more than people at my age. I am asked to do exercises regularly while others are crezy in those fashionable losing weight therapies.
I used to long for strong confident people encourage me to have strong will and faih, in other word, I customary asked people giving me help without doing any of trials. However, my confident grows when I reslize that I have better physical advantages than others.
I have several questions for this essay:
1)). I don't know which topic is suitable for this essay, please give me some advices. There are topics that I choice for that essay:
1). Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
2). A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
3). Topic of your choice.
2)). Please check my grammar, word usage.
3)). Is this a good topic (to walk/walking) for this essay? Should I change? If yes, please give me some ideas and thoughts.
4)). Overall suggestion.
Thanks!!!