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'We are all walking advertisements' - Advertising and Marketing Communications Major Essay



esherb 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2014   #1
Any critique is much appreciate, especially regarding grammatical/structural errors. Thank you! (Indentations wouldn't appear, had to make paragraph distinctions by through spacing)

Prompt: Your essay should answer the following questions: What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to? The essay is also your chance to tell us more about your experiences, activities and accomplishments. (No more than 750 words, please.)

We are all walking advertisements. They say to never judge a book by its cover, but human perception is, in essence, the internalized mechanism of doing just that. So as much as we would like to believe ourselves to be immune to the censure of a first impression, none of us are. The way we see ourselves, and the way we'd like to be seen, reflects outwardly in our mannerisms and how we choose to dress. I've learned and accepted that my outward appearance is like a brief synopsis of who I am, what kind of life I'm living, even what kind of day I'm having. More importantly, I've learned to use this to my advantage.

I spent a sizable chunk of my adolescence frustrated towards my closet for not spitting out clothes that let the world know who I was without having to say a word. That was the problem though - I wanted so desperately for my clothes to reflect me as an individual, without realizing that that person is amazingly complex and changing every day, and cannot be captured in one consolidated personal style. It wasn't until recently that I realized my appearance doesn't have to be a snapshot of me as a person, but rather of who I want to be that day. For example, when I started a film club at my school this year, I quite literally filled the role - mimicking the style of Jean Luc-Godard, or Sophia Coppola, or whatever filmmaker happened to inspire me at the time. I also love to draw, so when I want to remind people of it, I'll throw on a striped shirt a la Picasso and walk around coyly waving my sketchbook in people's faces all day. It's basically a glorified game of dress up, but it fascinates me how easy it is to manipulate people's perception of me. And that's exactly why I want to major in Advertising and Marketing Communications - so I can play this game of perception for real.

In advertising, what you say is often less important than how you say it. It's the game of perception, the same game I play when I get dressed in the morning. Pursuing a degree in advertising would utilize this skill, of being able to make people feel a certain way about a certain thing. And there is no better place to perfect this skill than FIT. Not only does FIT offer unparalleled connections into the industry, its location in the heart of New York City is ideal for anyone pursuing advertising. Walk into Time Square and you're inundated with ads competing for the attention of passerby - ads have to be doubly effective to even be memorable. I think that if I can learn to get my message across in New York City, I can get it across anywhere.

In addition to influencing the major I'd like to pursue, my fascination with perception has developed a few characteristics in me - most notably my creativity and my resilience. Creativity is obviously essential for expression on any medium, in this case the medium happens to be my body. But there comes a time when creativity wanes, and that is when I learned to be resilient. There were times when I'd find myself curled in a ball on the floor of a thrift store dressing room, after an unsuccessful attempt to find an outfit that would allow me to channel, say, Hunter S. Thompson. In these moments I often thought it would be easier if I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt for the rest of my life. But after several minutes of sulking underneath a pile of fur coats and bellbottoms, I always pulled myself out of it, and went on a thrift store crusade to find the items that had previously evaded me. There's a lesson to be learned from all of this - and it's that being creative isn't always easy, but it's always worth it. This is a lesson I learned on the floor of a dressing room, but it's one that defined who I am, and it's also one that I believe defines every FIT student.

Word count: 690

vangiespen - / 4077  
Nov 30, 2014   #2
Elizabeth, your essay suffers from an identity crisis. Either you write an essay regarding your qualifications as a FIT student or you write an essay advocating your stance as a future journalism student. Don't present more than one discussion per essay. Specially when the essay is not asking you for such information. You also did not present a clear idea relating to your qualifications as a FIT student. Do you have any relevant apprenticeships? Awards? Seminars attended? Those are the kinds of information that would prove you are worthy and meet the qualifications of an ideal FIT student. You have presented so much wordy information about yourself that you neglected to answer one of the most important questions posed by the essay. Try to revise the essay for clarity and also a presentation of the qualifications that you have that fit into the FIT values, goals, or criteria for their students. We need to shorten this essay to include only the important elements of the prompt requirements.


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