prompt:"The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey".
NOT SURE IF I CHOSE THE RIGHT DIRECTION HERE PLZ HELP CRITIQUE ALL COMMENTS WELCOMED!!
Throughout my life growing up I have always been a goal-oriented person, one who strives for the best through determination, hard work, and perseverance overcoming any obstacles that may come my way in succeeding. Setting goals have been the means of achieving things in life whether big or small, they have all counted towards where I stand today and where I want to be. As a college student when I have a goal I began to set standards not just in reaching that goal but as to how far and how hard I am willing to work and put in the effort in earning the greatest possible outcome of that goal. Being a college sophomore today in my final semester, it has been a goal of mine since day one here at Houston Community College where I currently reside to completing my basics successfully and moving on with transfers to the University of Texas. My goal and only job has ever been to become a successful Judge since the age of 4, only better understanding and growing fonder of the field of studies as I have aged discovering that I wanted to go BIG, looking into Judicial criminal law. Not only do I want to become a Judge but actually become a strong woman involved into the political and criminal scope of law enforcement. It is very important to me as well as a dream of mine to becoming the best in a career I pursue not only for myself but people and my career, striving for the best education I know I can receive and really taking advantage of it as much as possible. One who is able to learn so much through great heights and actually being able to process information through the real world, preparing me to become one of the best Judges out there! I believe what makes one the best at what they do is one who tries their best in succeeding through hard work and studying their career to the fullest front and back, inside and out, bringing these sources of knowledge into action for the real world. I believe that through my honest and certain determination in my passion for this career field, I have always and will continue to have what it takes to applying hard work and perseverance in achieving my goals here at the University of Texas where I feel can offer me the best, helping me begin this new chapter in my life of achieving the best in the career of my dreams. Exceling to the even better things in life to come and my future through UT is how I believe I can become a sensation.
Hey ,first i would like to say that what you have written is a good essay. I really like it since it talks about you personally and what your long term goals are..overall, it presents you as a really focused person with a plan. But, It is a bit confusing.
Now for the corrections: I think that there are too many I's. and a bit too much of the word 'goal'...use aim, mission, objective...something. but give poor goal a break. :P
[ I have a goal I began to set standards] (Its suppose to be begin, not began).
Third sentence is kinda run-on, insert a comma after college student and after standard. (wont be so hard to read then)
At the beginning of the fourth sentence, you can remove the word today and place the word Presently at the start of the sentence( Presently, being a college sophomore in my final semester at Houston community college, It has been a long standing goal of mine to complete my tertiary education at University of Texas...)
[font#FF0000My goal and only job has ever been to become a successful Judge since the age of 4, only better understanding and growing fonder of the field of studies as I have aged discovering that I wanted to go BIG, looking into Judicial criminal law.] ...THIS SENTENCE IS CONFUSING! ...I get what you are trying to say but try this way ( Ever since the age of 4, it was always my intention to become a lawyer, but as the years passed i became more knowledgeable on the different careers in Law and i realized that I do not want to settle with being 'just a lawyer'. I wanted to go BIG. So I made the decision that nothing would stop me from becoming a Judge.
Not only do I want to become a Judge but also a strong woman involved in the political and criminal scope of law enforcement. It is very important to me as well as a dream of mine to become the best in any career I pursue not only for myself, but for the persons I will have to serve. By striving for the best education possible, propelled by my desire to learn and my ability to connect theory and reality, I know I have the foundation needed to become a great Judge! I believe what makes one the best at what they do is succeeding through hard work and studying their career to the fullest; front and back, inside and out while bringing their knowledge into action for the real world. Although I am passionate about this field, i think that what will make me a success is the fact that i continuously challenge the barriers of learning by applying hard work and perseverance to achieve my goals. Of all the different universities, i feel that University of Texas is the best place for me to further develop myself as it is a melting pot flavored not only with academic development, but also mentally and socially as the institution is populated by individuals from different backgrounds with different opinions who will without a doubt challenge my views and my ability to think for myself.
You can further add that it will help develop a stronger persona blah blah blah..all of which will be necessary to become a good judge
Please read my essay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are AMAZING and you have really helped me i will better this essay and make the changes thankyou SO MUCH FOR YOUR TIME AND HELP!!!:) MUCH APPRECIATED!
This is a really well written essay. Definetly grabbed the readers attention. Great job!
thank you!!
NO PROBLEM!!! :D.. glad that you liked my suggestions...so....can you read my essay plzz!!? :D :D. it would be much appreciated!
Hey,
It's good. Very good indeed.
but but , I would like you to give an example which would show adcoms that you were really a goal oriented person,,,,,, a real life story or likewise... rest all is well....
hope I help with my point and good luck.
Hey3..I just realized...i never did ask how long its suppose to be. So how long is it suppose to be?
its suppose to be no longer than one page and ive made it completely better btw guys and thanks for all the advise!!!
Very nice essay!!
Its a really nice essay.
Please read mine!!!
