Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


"Washington D.C., yeah I can do this" I coached myself as my flight number was called.



Rmay 1 / -  
Oct 23, 2016   #1
If you have a ticket in your hand, where will you go? What will you do? College admissions essay

Nervously, I looked down at the ticket in my hand. "Washington D.C., yeah I can do this" I coached myself as my flight number was called. The plan was to arrive and have a meeting with Michelle Obama regarding health and food problems invading our country today. With her help we planned to motivate the United States to make a change in the way we feed ourselves and our children. We will discuss school breakfast and lunch programs and how the future generation is eating every single day. It is important that we change the meals kids are given by introducing more fresh fruits and vegetables and a lot less frozen meals. Obesity is a growing problem in America and I will continue with Michelle Obama's already inspiring changes she has made in the education system. Another major system affecting Americans health every single day is fast food restaurants. They are convenient as well as cheap giving them a major appeal to hard working people. These foods however, are destroying our bodies day in and day out. Our original idea was to open a fast food type restaurant that consists of healthy fresh options. Giving busy Americans a healthier option. This in turn hopefully influencing more businesses to acquire more positive food choices for their customers to choose from. In our meeting together we will also touch basis on starting new programs and movements throughout the nation to educate the people on what they are actually putting inside their bodies and how it affects their life as well as the people around them. With Michelle by my side and as the face of these new programs we will gain a bigger following to motivate more Americans to make a change in their diet. This was the plan we had spoke about and now it is actually happening. After reviewing this I knew there was no room for fear or self doubt. It was time to board that plane with confidence and determination to change the nation for the better.

How does it sound? Im applying for UTSA as a dietics major. Need help making it a bit longer as well. Thanks in advance!

Giansy11 18 / 30  
Oct 23, 2016   #2
Hii Rmay..
Overall, it is a great writing, but i found several mistakes. Lemme show you.

The plan was to arrive is arrived and have a ...
With her help weare planned to motivate the United StatesAmerican to make a change ...
We will discussabout school breakfast and lunch programs and meals consumption for future generation . of thow the future generation is eating every single day.

It is important that we change the mealsof kids aregiven by introducing and giving more fresh fruits and , vegetables and ...

Obesity is a growing rapidly become ...
and I will continue with Michelle Obama's already inspiring to make change she has made in the education system.


Home / Undergraduate / "Washington D.C., yeah I can do this" I coached myself as my flight number was called.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳