'watching the 8 bit video games' - Art institute of Vancouver entrance

i would spend a lot more time on it but unfortunatly they want me to hand it in tomorrow :( !! help?

Question: Which program of study have you chosen to enroll in at the art institute of Vancouver and why? How do you expect your education to help you attain your career goal?

Essay:

Being born in the twentieth century, my passion quickly grew by watching the 8 bit video games rapidly evolve into higher quality entertainment. With the constant exposure to the variety of games, I knew I wanted to be part of the industry in making and advancing digital entertainment at a young age. A niche for detail and an extreme devotion to video games will seamlessly go hand in hand with the 3D modeling for animation and games program. With the help of skilled teacher at AI, I can properly build a stable foundation to be prosperous in my future endeavors

Acquiring a career I am passionate about is what I have always strived for. As a teen I was conjuring up ideas to beat the next level in my game, and thinking up new ideas for characters and graphics. With the proper education AI has to offer I will be fully prepared for the future entry level jobs I will soon be offered. Having the classes being project base, I will be doing hands on work and being involved is my preferred way of learning. By learning in and out of the classroom, about the new demands for games I will be able to build the knowledge and receive the degrees for my future plans. I am confident that The Art Institute of Vancouver will give me the opportunities to become a leader in my industry of choice helping me to contribute my plans and ideas to society.

I will show every person who has ever doubted me of my choice in media that no obstacle or cultism will stop me and that my hard work has paid off. Once I've put my blood sweat and tears into my final projects an become successful I want to encourage other young aspiring media students in the future that courses in media arts is a respectable and honorable work field to choose.

You have a good essay here! It could use a little tidying up, a little bit of attention to grammar is needed in the first paragraph. You say all of the right things though: that you are passionate about your subject, you have studied it a lot, you say the college will be what you need to advance in your career. The main point is to appear to the college as a person with a plan in life- this is key. Express your long term goals, as well as your short term goals, and let your personality show! You are doing great, it just needs a little fine tuning.