Waterloo Engineering AIF: Why Systems Design at UW?

Why Systems Design at UW?

Thank you in advance to anyone who may answer this; any feedback would be wonderful!

Question 1: REASONS FOR CHOOSING YOUR PROGRAM AND WATERLOO
Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the University of Waterloo. If you have applied to more than one program please discuss your interest in each program. (900 character limit)

I would like to get an undergraduate degree in engineering and work towards a p.Eng while gaining hands-on experience in the industry. I feel that Waterloo Engineering's cohort program will help me build connections and community with my peers, even with the relatively large class. While I am stronger in my math and science courses, I am more interested in the design and human aspects of engineering. System Design Engineering's breadth of disciplines along with Waterloo's range of co-op opportunities will allow me to build important people-centred skills, while giving me a solid technical foundation for the future, where I wish to focus on product design in the healthcare industry, or complex systems such as in transportation. I also applied to Management, which deals with optimizing these very complex systems, but more on the business and economic aspects, as opposed to design.

(891 characters)

I think this essay is good so far. I didn't notice any grammatical mistake. You are well-organized and delivered your message clearly. You have a good range of vocabs. Hence, this is good for me. I hope you a good future.

Joy, since you were not able to build up the discussion for your interest in the Management course, you can safely remove that from the essay so that your response will be more complete and focused on your primary course. I feel as if you have fully considered how Waterloo can help you achieve your academic interests, but you have not tried to create a wider and more specific connection beyond the co-op program. Everyone will respond with the co-op program as the primary reasonf or choosing the university. There has to be a unique reason on your part that pushed you to choose the university. You need that different response to help your application response stand out and create a memorable impression on the reviewer.

What other academic theoretical and practical offerings does the university allow you to participate in that will help you develop both your academic and personal skills? Try to create a balanced response that reflects a personal development interest aspect in the presentation to even it out. Such a response responds to the "Why Waterloo" question on both a personal, academic, and professional goal basis.