Soo the question is: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
My answer is pretty unconventional I think. However, I did my best to make it as interesting and personal as possible. I am very open to edits/suggestions! Thanks :)
Its 7:43 a.m. and the school entrance is a block away. I have time before first period starts so I ease off the gas. Then I see him. He is an Indian man in his mid 30's, and today he is wearing a gray t-shirt, blue athletic shorts, and white sneakers. He jogs past the school entrance and is about to pass the Prius in front of me. Suddenly, he does something magical. Without breaking his pace, he glances towards the Prius, swiftly raises his hand, waves, and jogs on. Now it's my turn. I hold my breath in anticipation as I approach closer to the man. 'Will he do it again?' I ask myself. Sure enough, the man waves for a second time. Thrilled, I enthusiastically wave back, nearly making the car come to a complete standstill. The man proceeds to wave at every single car he passes.
Although my frequent morning interactions with him are brief, "waving guy" has shown me the importance of greeting others. At first I was amused by the subtle eccentricity of his consistent waving. Also, what kind of jogger waves to cars? However, I soon began to appreciate his simple gesture when I realized that it takes confidence to greet strangers, albeit strangers in cars. I lacked this confidence, especially when it came to greeting people. I was always too self-conscious, counting the seconds until the appropriate time to whisper a weak "h...hello." If no one responded, I would berate myself and renounce all forms of human communication. Yet after watching waving guy in action, I saw that greeting people could be effortless and that an unreturned wave did not signal the end of the world. After some practice, I managed to successfully greet my friends and minor acquaintances with a bright "HI!" I was happy to discover that after greeting them in this way, people became friendlier and more relaxed around me. It crossed my mind that a sincere greeting is one of the most effective yet underrated methods of relating to others. After all, we all want some form of acknowledgment, and I have learned from waving guy that even a simple wave can suffice.
Good intro but try to emphasize and elaborate the moral of the story more: how the waving guy lead you to realizing the fact that being open in public is hard.
that definitely helped, thank you
Hey, cool essay! I couldn't find any grammatical mistakes in it. I think that this essay was very creative, and not at all unconventional in any way because, well... my essays are EXTREMELY strange. I also said something about a waving man in my Santa Claus one :)
yes, elaborate,
you need to keep it real, keep it more personal, they want to know more about you
what you feel, and not the story itself
At first I was amused by the subtle eccentricity of his consistent waving.---You have some very well-written sentences, like this one...
Also, what kind of jogger waves to cars? ---ha ha, very cool...
However, I soon began to appreciate his simple gesture when I realized that it takes confidence to greet strangers, albeit strangers in cars.---or drunkenness. :-)
You did great. Let's just look back at the part about the Prius. I think that part needs one or two more words description, or better yet, imagery words.
Google that: imagery words
i would say that this essay is a pretty short one, if u were to elaborate more on details, especially the part where how did the waving man exactly influenced you, i bet it would be a nice essay.
Looking forward to your next essay !
At the beginning you should elaborate more on that first experience with "waving guy" and why he's had such a huge impact on you. Out of all the people you know WHY waving guy?
Answer mine please?
