how you contribute to life at rice
As those artists, poets and reformers against church in medieval Europe, I am a well-known pioneer in my high school.
Back to the Club Carnival, an exhibition of all clubs and propaganda of activities in school toward freshmen, I visited every club's booth and looked every poster. When I finished my search, the paltry numbers of clubs and activities shocked me. With time accumulating, I increasingly felt that I was misfits with this school. I enjoy keeping adding various things to my schedule and exploring things unknown to me, whereas this school limits students to academic.
I joined the campaign for president of student council, a position which has certain power to change the school, for me and other students. In the second semester, the result came out. I have to admit that it is disappointing that I didn't become the president, but the administer of sports & activities department actually is a more specialized position for me because I can put all my focus on improving and diversifying school events and then the whole school.
The annual basketball tournament between sophomoric classes is my first step. In my plan, I replaced the previous one-match-game-loop with playoffs and added all-star games so that students could enjoy more games, and suggested school cancel the free-study-class in afternoon to have enough time for everyday games. Three months later, I submitted my plan and posted in campus. This plan, I thought, directly challenge the school's doctrines, and I was ready for hinders. The road in reform is always rough.
Those hinders, however, came from not only the church but also the people. Many students thought my plan would distract them and affect their academic. Some even directly thought they need a new administer. Unexpected criticisms from them made me start questioning whether what I pursuit was right or not; meanwhile the school dismissed my plan. After short-time frustrated, I realized that not my goal was wrong, but my way. Differences definitely exist between people as well as thoughts and minds. I viewed the tournament and other events, however, only my own business but didn't consider in others' perspectives. I simply thought that I represented all students' wish and right side. Blind in road, only could I bump into others.
I apologized to my members in department and to whole school. I collected others' views on the plan and tirelessly hold meetings with students and teachers to exchange thoughts and explain my opinions. Gradually, I got supports and understanding from others. Finally, I kept my all-star games and hold more games by using group match and one-match games in final four. Most importantly, I found appropriate way to my Renaissance.
Rice is a diverse university. Students come from every corner in the world and have different background and minds. Divergence is an inevitable thing. My work experience and leadership in high school enable me to improve the various events and introduce new ones in Rice campus while balance different opinions.[/b]
Bowen, this essay sounds more like it would best serve its purpose as a response to prompt about overcoming an obstacle in your life. I also see this as a perfect response to prompt 3 or 4. This better portrays an obstacle that you had to overcome instead of how you can contribute to the Rice community. It also shows a time when you challenged a belief or idea. It delves in great detail about the activity that you had which you had to overcome and repair. The Rice prompt is not asking for that information, even though you might be able to present it in other common app portions of your application.
The response to this prompt will require you to look into the history of the university. Try to find out what the mission and vision, or objectives of the school you are applying to might be. Then examine your own background and try to find some parallelism between the two. Revise the essay to indicate what you understand about the Rice community. Then explain the kind of affinity that you feel with regards to those programs, clubs, or student activities.
At that point, you can launch into your own ideas of how you can help to improve the organizations, programs. or clubs. Talk about your passion for these things and how you see yourself participating in the activities.That is how you can contribute to life at Rice. You can use your opening statement from this existing essay to open if you can find a way to relate it to the objectives I previously mentioned.
I really think that the line; "As those artists, poets and reformers against church in medieval Europe, I am a well-known pioneer in my high school." You can use that to illustrate your passion for specific activities at Rice. Or you can use that to explain how you plan on improving certain situations that exist in the university. Just make sure you don't fall back on the high school experience that you had. That won't work for the essay.
