Williams Supplement- what it means to never give up

Prompt:Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.

"Beep!" I slipped out of a deep sleep and back into reality - it was in untimely transition. now awake to the cacophonous sound of the blaring horn, I looked out the window in search of the source. We were stuck in a long line of traffic, far from our destination. To the left were many business places: restaurants, gift shops- It was a very busy city. I was on my way home from an enjoyable vacation up in the hills and was eager to get home. I looked up to see the dark grey sky, heavy clouds that threatened to drench the city- it was a long, bleak afternoon.

As we moved further and further down the street I saw a man- tackily clothed, barefooted and malnourished. He was in the middle of the road holding what seemed to be his prized possessions close to his heart- they were multicolored garments with intricate patterns that could light up a room full of darkness. He displayed his product to every passing car, shouting to capture their attention.

Here was a man who was blessed with life but cursed with living it. He had nowhere to go and little to nothing to call his own. I saw how unfair the world we live in was and how fortunate some of us are to possess what we do. At the same time, I saw how determined he was to fight against the negativity: to stay on his feet and fight for his survival. He looked directly into my eyes as did I and I saw it- that spec of light in the wholesome darkness: I saw what it meant to never give up.

Anticipating replies!

I see nothing wrong with this essays and im sure colleges will love it the only thing is with the sentence below

As we moved further and further down the street I saw a man- tackily clothed, barefooted and malnourished.

dont use - because its not really necessary to have to use it

As we moved further and further down the street I saw a man tackily clothed, barefooted and malnourished.