'wisely and dynamic environment', 'my intelligence as a student and thinker' - Transfer essay

Prompt:

Other Comments:
Do you have a compelling academic or personal need to attend the University of Washington-Seattle at this time?
Is there anything else you would like us to know?

Response:

I would like to attend the University of Washington - Seattle campus in fall of 2015 because...

Comment from another student: "This sounds way too similar to the last paragraph of my UW transfer essay draft that I posted three days earlier..."

Your response to the prompt is not only curt, but also lacking in reasons and idea development. You need to present better personal reasons that would make the admissions officer believe that you do not have any other academic option at this point aside from being admitted to UW. The reasons that you presented in your statement is better suited towards a prompt referring to what the university has to offer you as a student. The way you approached the essay is quite lighthearted when you are being asked to present serious considerations for attending the school. Your reasons must be either personal or academic in nature. For personal reasons, you could refer to perhaps having family relations that have attended the school, thus making it a legacy school for you and create a compelling reason to want to attend UW. An academic reason could be an interest in a specific course major that only UW offers, or something along those lines. Having offered you some examples that you can use as the basis for your revision, I hope that you can revise the essay to better suit your needs in relation to the prompt requirements.

This sounds way too similar to the last paragraph of my UW transfer essay draft that I posted three days earlier...