Women's intellectualism; Smith college transfer - Specific aspects

Hope to turn this in on Friday Feb 15!!
What specific aspects of Smith College will better meet your academic goals? (Limit your response to 100 words.)

I envision studying in the midst of superbly knowledgeable and competent women who desire to study in an environment acknowledging women's intellectualism. To study in a prestigious institution where ambitious women are tomorrow's leaders would be a blessing. As a strong African woman studying economics, Smith's rigorous courses and in-depth research will prepare me for graduate studies. Its Women in Public Service Project will train me as a voice for women in Africa, while the study aboard program in Southern India will allow for comparison of women's economic-development in India and Liberia. As an individual demanding change in women rights, Smith is the perfect institution to accomplish my academic goals.

Please be honest!!!!
Thanks

I envision studying in an environment filled with smart, knowledgable and competent women who reflect the women's intellecturalism in every respect.


I feel you can capitalize on this ... why not you briefly tell the role you wish to play in your reigion and how Smith environment would contribute towards it by boosting your moral and confidence.... This is just a thought of mine :)

Also you can talk about the benefits of networking opportunities that would be helpful in your future role.

dumi
Hi thanks for your feedback, I really appreciated it, in the 2nd feedback do you mean i should take out "Smith's rigorous courses and in-depth research will prepare me for graduate studies" and add in something about the role that I wish to play in your region and how Smith environment would contribute towards it by boosting your moral and confidence?

What specific aspects of Smith College will better meet your academic goals? (Limit your response to 100 words.)
this is the revise essay. it is too long, please help with cutting it down. thanks alot
I envision studying in an environment filled with smart, knowledgeable and competent women who reflect the women's intellectualism in every respect. To study in a prestigious institution where ambitious women are tomorrow's leaders would be a blessing. As a strong African woman studying economics, I strive for the economic empowerment of women in third world countries and hope to eradicate the injustice these women faces. Smith environment would help enhance my moral and confidence, and provide me with networking opportunities. Its Women in Public Service Project will train me to be a voice for women in Africa, while the study abroad program in Southern India will allow me to compare women's economic developments in India and Liberia. As an individual demanding change in women's rights, Smith is the perfect institution to accomplish my academic goals.

Yep... what I actually meant was that I found you can bring up your African femininity and strong will. Through that you can show them that you can be a woman leader for your nation in your respective field. As you mention, you need to align Smith's resources and capabilities with the role you intend to build in future. In simple terms, tell what sort of woman leader your want to be in future and how you can influence your nation being so. Then tell how Smith can help building your role. You write very well, and I'm confident that you can present it very creatively :)