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500 words essay - Independence and Curiosity



lavender_pham 3 / 11  
Dec 23, 2011   #1
Hi all, this is my 500 words essay on "Topic of your choice"
I hope I can receive as much feed back as possible. And my main questions are
1/ What can you tell about me after reading the essay?
2/ Did my message get across?
Thank you very much!
==================================
My music teacher did not answer me. She turned to my homeroom teacher instead, her eyebrows knitted into a line, and her smile dropped as she asked, "Why is she always asking too much? She is already in third grade..."

I could feel the blood cells competed each other to show off themselves beneath the skin on my face. The question she made seemed to say I was so stupid that I could not even understand what my classmates already understood. I stepped backward, turned, and marched back to my seat with head held high. Carrying a wounded pride, I walked passively through the rest of the day, and the following days.

New lessons became enemies as they continuously challenged the resistance of my pride. Questions built up an army and attacked the thick metal wall. Suddenly, my whole body stiffened, then frozen. My eyes stared at the blackboard. Without blinking, my pupils traced the problem back and forth, step by step. The brain followed immediately with logical analyses, using rules and laws it mesmerized to satisfy all the why's and how's soldiers who flooded in my head. I was totally behind the new unit that the teacher was teaching. It was no use to move on to an advanced lesson without clearly understood the simpler one. Of course, after the army of questions disappeared, I had to race to catch up.

My brain, however, often got tired and fell behind, which added more homework on my agenda. The moment I got home, I threw my backpack aside, climb onto the wooden desk, and eagerly open my books. I began to read, carefully and thoroughly, multiple times what I did not understand, and tried my best to explain it to myself. As if to make things easier for me, my brain developed the ability to quickly recognize and classify patterns to simplify problems I encountered.

Many years flew by. I figured that nothing could really stop my nature curiosity from firing questions out - a habit that often made me got onto peoples' nerves, I guessed. Like four days ago, when the teacher gave a lecture on different art styles, I only asked a couple questions about the realism style I love, and I heard a voice behind me, "Why is she asking so many questions?" It was not the first time I heard the same thing from my peers or the adults - who showed the same expression as my music teacher - said that. I grew accustom to that and look at that as an everyday compliment. The disadvantage of not asking was that I would neither fully understand what I need to nor able to improve my own knowledge, especially when I learned everything in second language now.

I can independently work by myself and teach myself new material without making too much questions. However, I cannot stop seeking for more knowledge by asking questions, which is the easiest and fastest way to receive an answer. I am lucky to have the combination of both, which always help me to become a better student.

menukagrg 7 / 88  
Dec 23, 2011   #2
stiffened, then frozen- froze

lesson without clearly understood - understanding

The moment I got home, I threw my backpack aside, climb onto the wooden desk, and eagerly open my books- climbed....opened...
Suggestions: It sounds better as " The moment i got home, i would throw my backpack aside, climb..."

made me got onto peoples' nerves- get into...

understand what I need to nor able to improve my own knowledge- what i needed to improve....

always help me to become - helps me...OR which has always helped me to become

Hope this helped.

1. Not a lot of thing. I know that you are inquisitive and you had a hard time as a student because of not so friendly environment.

2. Don't really know what the message was but i know some about your hardships. You weren't specific about how you overcame it so maybe work on that more.

I wish you the best of luck. :)


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