'work in close proximity with the people' - Common App=ECA

Some words are random for privacy reasons, but the no. of letters is fine.
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APPP XXXXX has been a humble endeavor of mine for the past three years. What had started out as an impulsive outcry, brought upon by the failures and empty promises of the youth organizations that I had worked with, has grown into a strategic model that now allows individuals from disparate communities to engage in social activism, however small it may seem.

Working under the guidance of UNXX xxxxx has been an honor I initially found too heavy to bear, but in time, I have come to understand my position in my community and lead several projects of this movement, one that now comprised of over 200 dedicated individuals from several institutions. As we remained adamant in our resolution to not register it officially, I have been able to work in close proximity with the people I desired to help. As I hand out a free book to another child, I cannot not help but be truly overwhelmed by the impact of our work on children who strive to learn, and, inadvertently teach us a lot along the way.

I am not sure what the prompt is since you didn't state it but I'm guessing it's asking you to talk about one of your extracurricular activities.

In the second paragraph, there is a problem with the position of the commas. It should read "Too heavy to bear but, in time, I have..."

Also, further along the same sentence it should read "in my community and to lead several projects of this movement. One"
Instead of "as I hand out" which sounds a little awkward because you have not been following the narrative format throughout the writing you should write "when I hand out"

Overall, the content of this response is great! It really shows that you care about helping and that you are a go-doer type of person instead of a bystander. If you can fix some of the flow like I tried to help you with I think this would be a winning response. :-)

How is this new one? Is this better?
And yes, this is the answer to the "elaborate on one of your ECA short answer. Mine is exactly 1000 characters.

Humans have a a proclivity for wanting to matter, being an element of change. Perhaps, it was my desire to initiate a change that made me to start ABCD PASDFG, a youth movement, in 2009. What had started out as an impulsive outcry brought upon by the apparent failures of the many youth organizations I worked with, however, had transformed into a strategic model that allowed people from disparate communities to engage in social activism.

Working under the guidance of UNxx has been an honor I initially found too heavy to bear but, in time, I have come to appreciate my position in my community and to lead several projects. Initially met with static friction, this movement has prevailed over time, becoming a cornerstone of our small community and comprising of over 200 members from various institutions. Change is what we all strive to create, but ABCD ABCDEF has ensured that the change was not only in the lives of the people we helped, but also in our perception about our ability to help.

Does it lose content?
By the way, there is no problem with words, as in the preview in common app, I can read the whole thing.

How do I shorten the third sentence? It is too long...