Please give your suggestions on the following essay -
Please describe one of your extracurricular activities/ work experience which have been particularly meaningful to you. (150 words)
I have a dream, as every other person my age - to walk amongst the high and mighty and be known among the rich and the poor. One experience that I feel had surely pushed me towards this dream is when I worked this summer at the Indian Ministry of Finance in New Delhi. Having just come back from an International IT Competition, I met our Finance Minister for the felicitation ceremony where he asked me to be part of an eight member team to develop software solutions for the day to day usage of ministry databases. Having access to such important data gave me a sense of responsibility. It was an honor working at such a high place, interacting with one of the most powerful persons in my country. I felt important, a recognized person who have made his name in the society and hope to get more such opportunities in future.
Please describe one of your extracurricular activities/ work experience which have been particularly meaningful to you. (150 words)
I have a dream, as every other person my age - to walk amongst the high and mighty and be known among the rich and the poor. One experience that I feel had surely pushed me towards this dream is when I worked this summer at the Indian Ministry of Finance in New Delhi. Having just come back from an International IT Competition, I met our Finance Minister for the felicitation ceremony where he asked me to be part of an eight member team to develop software solutions for the day to day usage of ministry databases. Having access to such important data gave me a sense of responsibility. It was an honor working at such a high place, interacting with one of the most powerful persons in my country. I felt important, a recognized person who have made his name in the society and hope to get more such opportunities in future.