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"more work = more fun?" -- Pomona prompt


lullabywave 5 / 14  
Jan 2, 2011   #1
Um.. this is like a last ditch effort.. It's an optional supplement, so if you don't think it's even worth submitting, please tell me. AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO SOUND HARSH

Although it may appear to the contrary, we do know that people have a life beyond what they do to get into college. Tell us about an experience you've had outside of your formal classroom and extracurricular activities that was just plain fun and why.

Ironically, my most memorable moment of fun physically occurs inside a classroom. Specific to my high school, Diversity Day is a holiday in the sense that all academic classes are canceled. Instead, within school buildings, both students and faculty members hold and attend workshops at which we celebrate and promote any and all kinds of diversity. Though typically pedestrian to other students, this specific year was special to me. For the first time I was co-sponsoring a workshop with my roommate.

Despite our many differences, we had one thing in common: desire to host a Chinese-themed game show that would both celebrate our Chinese nationality and enable others to have fun at the same time. For weeks we set aside time in our busy schedules to plan out the event. Built up stress originating from oncoming deadlines coupled with personal disagreement caused me to have my first fight with either a roommate or a friend. We argued about everything: which activities to do, how much time we would need, and even which songs to play. The fight was so explosive that for a brief period of time I doubted if we would even be able to have the workshop at all. What reconciled us, however, was that which had inspired us to start the project in the first place: our favorite variety show. When I heard the familiar theme song my eyes were automatically glued to the screen. By the end, my roommate and I had laughed until our stomachs hurt and had been brought to the verge of tears. Reminded of our mission to have a fun workshop celebrating nationality, we pulled ourselves together. Within three days we had filled out the necessary paperwork and bought and finished our preparations for the workshop.

The results of our hard work bloomed into fruition when Diversity Day finally arrived. Everyone had trouble during our challenging 'four-legged' race, humbling dancing charades, and penalizing rhythm trivia. Despite our differences and our previous arguments, my roommate and I pulled through as our activities and antics as hosts had everyone laughing. I never lost my smile the whole time; it was the most fun I had ever had. Before then, I only knew about putting effort into my studies; fun was supposed to only come at random, but because of all the hard work I had put into the event I was able to enjoy it all the more.
attarhame 2 / 3  
Jan 2, 2011   #2
I actually really like the idea and its not something you should throw out the window...
The language in the beginning is a little too much "This happened and then this and then this." but as the story goes on the language gets more imaginative and interesting...its almost like because it was more fun you had more fun explaining it.

Sorry...this is a bad response and I don't know if it is even helpful.
Maybe the beginning should be shortened or made more interesting...it sounds a bit like the typical "we did a group project and we couldn't work together but at the end we came together and everything worked out fine"
OP lullabywave 5 / 14  
Jan 2, 2011   #3
as the story goes on the language gets more imaginative and interesting

Ah.. where exactly are you talking about? I'm sorry, but could you be a bit more specific?
But I do appreciate the feedback thank you


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