Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3

A world where I would not have anything to worry about - UC prompt 1


siku 1 / 2  
Nov 30, 2008   #1
I know im not really good at english especially Essay (I did good in everything except for English :) )
but please help me correct this
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. *

I was always lived in a world where I would not have anything to worry about. When I heard that our family has to move to America, everything was changed. All the worries I never have before started to appear in my head, "How are kids in America?" and "What do they teach in school?" At that time, I did not even think about the language barrier between me and the people in America at all not until later.

The moment I set my foot in America, It's felt like a whole different world from where I was living in. Everything beside me seems to be so strange from houses to people. I never thought that it was be this much different. Everything seems to be changed but for my family, they still care for me like usually no matter where we go. I remember a phrase they keep telling me "Don't give up; if you try you can do it." It still echoes in my head today. And because of that, I am who I am today. I am truly appreciating the influence they have on me, because it has given me the drive to become self-motivated and strive to be independently successful. Especially my mother, the one who give birth to me, and she is always there for me. Ever since my mother divorced with my father, even though it was hard for her, but she was never, not even once saying anything that discouraging me because of my father. Even after we moved to America, she is still support me like usual. I know it's hard for her, and nothing I can do to help but to keep doing my best in school.

At the beginning, it was not easy for me to lend into new environment at school. I do not know anyone at school and especially I do not know a single bit of English. I am also a bit shy so that made me even harder to lend in. It was my mother, she seen through everything about me, she knew that this would happen and give me courage to take the next step. If it was not my mother and my family there for me, I do not think I would be who I am today.

OP siku 1 / 2  
Nov 30, 2008   #2
change first line.. was to had
just realized that
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Dec 1, 2008   #3
I have always lived in a world where I had nothing to worry about. When I heard that our family has to move to America, everything suddenly changed. All the worries I never had before started to appear in my head, "How are kids in America?" and, "What do they teach in school?" At that time, I did not even think about the language barrier between me and the people in America at all--not until later.

The moment I set foot in America, it felt like a whole different world from where I was living in. Everything beside me seems to be so strange, from houses to people. I never thought that it was going to be this different . Everything seemed to have changed but for my family, who still care for me like usually no matter where we go.

At the beginning, it was not easy for me to acclimate to a new environment at school. I did not know anyone at school and especially I did not know a single bit of English. I am also a bit shy, so that made me even harder to lend in. It was my mother, she seen through everything about me, she knew that this would happen and give me courage to take the next step.

:) Your writing is very clear; you just need to keep practicing!


Home / Undergraduate / A world where I would not have anything to worry about - UC prompt 1