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A world full of global warming, war and depleting resources - GLOBAL KOREAN SCHOLARSHIP


essybear 1 / -  
Sep 15, 2022   #1

GLOBAL KOREAN SCHOLARSHIP - Undergraduate studies PERSONAL STATEMENT



In the growing turmoil of today; a world full of global warming, war and depleting resources, questions often arise such as, " can we make this more efficient, more durable, and have less of an impact on our environment?" Helping to answer these questions is a personal aspiration of mine, which is why I want to study chemical engineering and be part of the exploration of unknown substances, and making something of worth and value out of mere raw materials. I realize its impact in sustainable development. It seeks to develop economic yet environmental-friendly ways of using materials and energy for the benefit of mankind whether that is through easing the difficulty involved in a task, reducing the time required, or minimizing the necessary cost.

I knew that I am into chemical composition since I was always curious with how matters are compose, made and even engineered into something beneficial for the society. However, I always hear from our neighborhood and teachers how unlucky of us to not go to a school and university that could actually tend and help us build our potential in the field of natural sciences and engineering because of our financial status. We were also deprived of high technology that is why many people thought it is difficult to pursue that kind of dream but that does not stop me from achieving great. I, personally, spend most of my time in the library browsing books about the latest inventions and discoveries. I borrow books from the library and compare it with the news flash on our neighborhood's television. In that way, I will be updated with science and engineering related news worldwide. Even with this little knowledge resources, I had always been chosen to compete for science related quizzes and won some awards. In addition to that, I was always the representative of our school for MTAP- Mathematics Teachers Association of the Philippines math challenge. Every year, as we compete, we always won for that competition. I am very versatile as I also compete for radio broadcasting, feature writing and Science and Technology writing in Journalism contest. I have always won first place for those categories in district level. I have also participated in Girl Scouting and have been part of its regional base camporee. I was also the school's president on top of these accomplishments. These achievements hone my communication skills, leadership capabilities and survival instincts, which are essential in school and in a workplace. Thus, I am trying to reach out to the best education that I can have without being a burden to my parents.

I was born from a low-income family in the Philippines that grows root crops. I am the eldest of a family with eight members. Both of my parents own a small lot where we grow our crops. They barely earn 60, 000 pesos for this crops the whole year and yet we had to fit in to that amount. What they earn is just enough to feed us all for the whole year. There have been times when we struggle financially, and frustration fills me as I struggle to find a way to help. I remember what my mom told me when I said that I couldn't help on anything. She told me "I must study". Due to my considerably high GPA compared to my siblings, my parents wanted me to have the best education, but I think the best education can be costly, therefore I decided to work part-time in a distant relative and enroll myself in a university, University of Mindanao. I took up Bachelor of Science and Entrepreneurship. It was not the course I'm into but I don't have a choice since it was my aunt who pays for my tuition and other bills. I thought that after finishing this course and get a job, I could just enroll for chemical engineering. However, I thought that if there are other ways for me to enroll chemical engineering without too much cost, and then I would grab it.

Investment in knowledge pays the best interest. With this in mind, I know that having an education abroad, especially from South Korea, will land me a good profession in the future. Aside from being widely renowned for its productive entertainment industry, South Korea is SouthEast Asia's hub of innovation and technology and has a highly stable economy- these assure me of a financially secure future after graduating from a Korean University since their graduates are highly sought after by employers worldwide. As an international student, being exposed to their technology will give me a considerable edge over other students entering the workforce. To top that, its universities stand high in the global cognitive skills index and educational attainment rankings. They are exceptionally notable in engineering, IT, and Robotics, which will allow me to pursue my dream career in Chemical Engineering, especially since the Global Korean Scholarship prioritizes students who want to take science and engineering-related courses. If accepted, I will dedicate my academic years to South Korea's venture in petrochemicals, fine chemicals, fertilizers, ceramics, and paper and strengthening its competitiveness in the chemical industry. Also, as a patriotic citizen of the Philippines, graduating in South Korea will strengthen the relationship between these countries in terms of Research and Development. They could use my knowledge and skills in their venture toward perfecting biodegradable polymers as a step in attaining sustainable development. For a student who only wishes to pursue her desire in engineering chemicals to help with the world's quest for having sustainable life, it is of immense help for me to get this scholarship, especially in my situation. Moreover, I'm excited to be able to widen my perspective in an international scale and grow as a strong individual.

I am ready to show the world what I'm capable of and what I'm willing to do. If given the chance to study with the help of GKS program, I promise to not only make a difference in myself, but also impact my surrounding greatly and positively.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,223 4319  
Sep 15, 2022   #2
There needs to be a reference to individual accomplishment in terms of competition and recognition in the essay. Shared team efforts do not inform the reviewer about how well the applicant can really claim to be an exceptional candidate when all of the accomplishments are referenced to a team achievement. While the applicant does have other achievement references, these are too vague and oftentimes, unrelated to the course that the applicant is hoping to receive a scholarship for.

When the reference to the yearly income of the family is made, the reviewer will have no idea what the peso value would mean to Koreans. It would be beneficial to the applicant if he can convert the value to the Korean Won for a better financial impact / consideration.
famma12345 1 / 2  
Sep 17, 2022   #3
Hi, I'm no expert. But since as a reader i really like the content, you've put into this essay. However, I spot quite a lot of grammatical and structural issues with the writing. I hope you could go through that and review all the mistakes. The content displays your determination. I'd say you could change the writing into a more fluent one and then it'll be good to go. Goodluck, I hope you make it


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