Hello, I am Tanzeem. For prompt 1, I was wondering if my world could be my home with my family. Because I wouldn't go outside that often.Can I share some memories or experiences with my family that made me learn some important things like honesty, patience and discipline. For prompt 2, can I share the experience how I had to run the house, do grocery shopping, pay bills and go the bank when my father had jaundice and how perseverance, tolerance and determination changed my life.
(my world could be my home with my family) UC PROMPT HELP?
prompt 1 should be about your dreams and aspirations, so i think talking about "honesty, patience and discipline" is not that suitable, and yeah, you world can basically be anything: your environment, family, friends...
prompt 2's idea should be fine. Just remember to provide more solid examples.
Good luck :)
prompt 2's idea should be fine. Just remember to provide more solid examples.
Good luck :)
Well can I say for prompt 1 how religion( islam) revolves around me and how it shows me a way of life.
Yes. Writing about your religion will show how the world you come from has helped shape who you are today. Just try to put a unique twist on it. In any event, just write something so we can provide you with more detailed feedback. -Admissions Advice Online
Could anyone of you read me two personal statements of UC. Please notify me your opinions.
1)RELIGION IS A WAY OF LIFE
My world revolves around Islam. Muslims must carry duties such as prayer, fasting and alms giving. Hence carrying out these duties properly and knowing more profoundly about Islam has influenced me in the best possible way to view and approach life
In Islam, the daughters of a family live with their in-laws after marriage. Thus it's becomes my duty to take care of my parents after my sister is gone. Thus I want to achieve my dreams of an electrical engineer and later bring my parents to America and live with me.
Performing prayer 5 times a day has made me a better man. It keeps my physical and mental mind fresh. Therefore I always have a good frame of mind and favored optimism. I hate violence, lying, cheating and especially dishonesty. My best friends always had fights. I always tried to reconcile. I remember when one of friends accused my best friend Shihab of lying. So they started fighting. I intervened and I got kicked really hard in the leg but still got up and placated my friends. In 7th grade I tried to stop a bully from picking on a 4th grader. But I got my nose broken and missed school for a week. Even if I caught my sister or my friends fabricating stories or facts, I never got angry but requested them to give up these wrongdoings.
Fasting in the holy month Ramadan has kept my health stable throughout the year. It has taught me patience and self- control and helped me control passion and temper. That's why I am fit and very good in sports. I can walk 10 miles at a stretch.
Once I was walking on the road and saw a poor old man on the footpath shivering in the cold. Nobody seemed to care. So I took the man in my arms and headed towards the hospital. That incident made me realize that we just did not live for ourselves, but for everybody around us. Thus I regularly donate to charity and visit slums to distribute my personal savings among the poor. I think I become the most happiest when I play cricket with the slum children.
I have seen religion has greatly influenced me and many lives in Bangladesh. I am capable of aspiring anything as long as Islam is always in my heart and soul. But first world countries especially America don't view religion as an influence but as a distraction. I have many friends in America where most of them don't go to church or mosque and one of friends confessed in me that he plays temple run in his mobile during church sermons. I sometimes get annoyed as to why people don't take their religion seriously. Thus I aspire to encourage people in America to make religion their best friend. It always has a positive impact on life and makes life better know matter how difficult it is.
2)Six years ago, my dad got jaundice by drinking lentil in a local restaurant. I had to take care of the house and things like grocery shopping, buy takeout food when mom was not at home, pay bills and visit dad at the hospital by bus. But I was petrified of how I was going to do all of that. Ever since my family and I came to Bangladesh from New York to get permanently settled, my dad could not find a good job back then. So we would stay home. I suppose from that same arid routine, I became lethargic and homesick. Therefore I hated going outside. Abruptly I had to get out of my comfort zone. But I had to do it for my dad.
First of all, paying the bills was not as difficult as I thought. I just had to give a few signatures and give the money to the caretaker. But grocery shopping was a terrible experience. I knew least of the groceries' names in Bengali and I was not fluent at all. I hesitated in talking with people in Bengali. The first day I bought all of them. But later when I got home, I got bemoaned by mom learning that I got deceived by 200 taka. I had no idea that I had to bargain. So mom took me to the local market and taught me a few tips. I started getting the hang of it by the first week. I was more confident in talking with the sellers. And I became more fluent in Bengali. I knew the local area by then and I knew where to buy the groceries the cheapest. My first bus ride was not bad at all. Well I had to wait with my sister at the bus stop for half an hour and the bus was really crowded and had a malodorous smell. On the bright side, we reached the hospital in no time. I think dad was the happiest man on earth when he saw me and my sister enter the patient room.
After a long 9 weeks, dad came home. I learned many aspects of life from that experience such as responsibility, determination and confidence. I could do shopping by myself. I was more social. I played in the field with my neighbors everyday and had the capability of going anywhere in the city without anxiety. I became a good sportsman and later earned the faith from my teammates to be captain every match. After dad totally recovered, I sometimes accompanied dad to the bank. Dad was blithe witnessing a change in character in me and he knew I had what it took to achieve the best of life. That's when I became more resolute and courageous when dad shifted me to an excellent high school to follow my ambition to become the first family member to go to college. From those days I went to school by bus instead of rickshaw and I saved over 1 hundred thousand taka, the expenses of my dad's treatment over the past 4 years.
1)RELIGION IS A WAY OF LIFE
My world revolves around Islam. Muslims must carry duties such as prayer, fasting and alms giving. Hence carrying out these duties properly and knowing more profoundly about Islam has influenced me in the best possible way to view and approach life
In Islam, the daughters of a family live with their in-laws after marriage. Thus it's becomes my duty to take care of my parents after my sister is gone. Thus I want to achieve my dreams of an electrical engineer and later bring my parents to America and live with me.
Performing prayer 5 times a day has made me a better man. It keeps my physical and mental mind fresh. Therefore I always have a good frame of mind and favored optimism. I hate violence, lying, cheating and especially dishonesty. My best friends always had fights. I always tried to reconcile. I remember when one of friends accused my best friend Shihab of lying. So they started fighting. I intervened and I got kicked really hard in the leg but still got up and placated my friends. In 7th grade I tried to stop a bully from picking on a 4th grader. But I got my nose broken and missed school for a week. Even if I caught my sister or my friends fabricating stories or facts, I never got angry but requested them to give up these wrongdoings.
Fasting in the holy month Ramadan has kept my health stable throughout the year. It has taught me patience and self- control and helped me control passion and temper. That's why I am fit and very good in sports. I can walk 10 miles at a stretch.
Once I was walking on the road and saw a poor old man on the footpath shivering in the cold. Nobody seemed to care. So I took the man in my arms and headed towards the hospital. That incident made me realize that we just did not live for ourselves, but for everybody around us. Thus I regularly donate to charity and visit slums to distribute my personal savings among the poor. I think I become the most happiest when I play cricket with the slum children.
I have seen religion has greatly influenced me and many lives in Bangladesh. I am capable of aspiring anything as long as Islam is always in my heart and soul. But first world countries especially America don't view religion as an influence but as a distraction. I have many friends in America where most of them don't go to church or mosque and one of friends confessed in me that he plays temple run in his mobile during church sermons. I sometimes get annoyed as to why people don't take their religion seriously. Thus I aspire to encourage people in America to make religion their best friend. It always has a positive impact on life and makes life better know matter how difficult it is.
2)Six years ago, my dad got jaundice by drinking lentil in a local restaurant. I had to take care of the house and things like grocery shopping, buy takeout food when mom was not at home, pay bills and visit dad at the hospital by bus. But I was petrified of how I was going to do all of that. Ever since my family and I came to Bangladesh from New York to get permanently settled, my dad could not find a good job back then. So we would stay home. I suppose from that same arid routine, I became lethargic and homesick. Therefore I hated going outside. Abruptly I had to get out of my comfort zone. But I had to do it for my dad.
First of all, paying the bills was not as difficult as I thought. I just had to give a few signatures and give the money to the caretaker. But grocery shopping was a terrible experience. I knew least of the groceries' names in Bengali and I was not fluent at all. I hesitated in talking with people in Bengali. The first day I bought all of them. But later when I got home, I got bemoaned by mom learning that I got deceived by 200 taka. I had no idea that I had to bargain. So mom took me to the local market and taught me a few tips. I started getting the hang of it by the first week. I was more confident in talking with the sellers. And I became more fluent in Bengali. I knew the local area by then and I knew where to buy the groceries the cheapest. My first bus ride was not bad at all. Well I had to wait with my sister at the bus stop for half an hour and the bus was really crowded and had a malodorous smell. On the bright side, we reached the hospital in no time. I think dad was the happiest man on earth when he saw me and my sister enter the patient room.
After a long 9 weeks, dad came home. I learned many aspects of life from that experience such as responsibility, determination and confidence. I could do shopping by myself. I was more social. I played in the field with my neighbors everyday and had the capability of going anywhere in the city without anxiety. I became a good sportsman and later earned the faith from my teammates to be captain every match. After dad totally recovered, I sometimes accompanied dad to the bank. Dad was blithe witnessing a change in character in me and he knew I had what it took to achieve the best of life. That's when I became more resolute and courageous when dad shifted me to an excellent high school to follow my ambition to become the first family member to go to college. From those days I went to school by bus instead of rickshaw and I saved over 1 hundred thousand taka, the expenses of my dad's treatment over the past 4 years.
.... Without it this sentence reads better.
Thus it's becomes my duty to take care of my parents after my sister is gone
Therefore it has become my duty to take care of my parents after my sister got married.
Thus I want to achieve my dreams of an electrical engineer and later bring my parents to America and live with me.
I don't see much relevance of this sentence for this particular prompt.
It is better if had told how you got so much attached to religion, what influenced you and so on. Here you need to talk about your world and its significance to you. You don't have to talk about your future plans here.