please help me to correct my application grammar!Thanks a million for your help!
Writing assessment
Empire State College offers a unique learning environment for the busy learner who may be juggling a number of roles, spouse, parent, manager, entrepreneur, volunteer, caregiver, and more. We offer a flexible learning environment, with individually designed degree programs, and opportunities to study online, face to face, or a combination of the two.
In a type essay of no fewer than 300 words, please describe:
1. Your reason for applying to Empire State College.
2. Your personal and professional goals, and what topics or areas you hope to study.
3. Your strengths and experiences (educational, employment, community and personal background) that will make you a successful student in our learning environment.
MY WORLD MADE MY DREAM AS A NURSE
My world has been changing constantly throughout the twenty seventh years of my life nurturing my character and personality to be what I am today. Being born as second child in a poor family, my world was full of hardship and challenges, but I believe that everything happened for a purpose, and indeed for a good purpose. In every hard work I made, there is a success in the end. At the young age, I have overcome lots of challenges in life. I put my dreams on hold for years, and now when I had already set my foot on American land I will never give up to fulfill my dream to complete education and become a helpful nurse.
My name is "My" which is often misspelled and misunderstanding in English. "Beautiful girl, you are our special gift, your name stands for our dream. MY means American, you have to study hard so you do not end up like us" my parent's words still echo in my ears as they described me often. Later I discovered my parent sorrow story and kept dreaming of American, the promise land which is wealthy, freedom and independence. In 1975, my parent escaped from Vietnam to United State of American to avoid Communist regime and look for a better life but they could not make it. Their regretful eyes and their words together passed a powerful massage to my young mind and I am determined that I should take studies very seriously because it is the only opening for us to hope for a better life.
It was not just the financial difficulties that I had to manage as a young kid. I frequently help my parent with miscellaneous chores along their side around the house and farms. Together with I faced other challenges too, my mother used to hospitalized caused by low quality life and hard working and I was with her all the time. These issues at family front affected my grades time to time. But I always made a come back because I never forgot my parent's words and their hopes in me. As I was fifteenth, when I was with my mother in the hospital, I looked up to the nurses who took a good care for all the patients and help them reduce suffering from illness. At that moment, I really wanted to have the same healing hands. I also realized that there are many rewards to fulfill my life as well as my family to work in healthcare field. Those rewards come from both spiritually and financially. In nursing field, I would have more opportunities to gain more knowledge and become successfully as well as competitive to any other profession. The best thing is the emotional reward, the felling of knowing I can make a difference in someone's life. There will be always a need in healthcare fields at anytime or place.
After finished high school, my parent could not afford for my college tuition. I had to work several job to support my family and pay off the debts caused by my mother treatments. Twenty two years old, I was luckily hired to work oversea as a technician specialist in Singapore. It is too much to diverse and immerse in other country with multicultural and traditional. Living and working in a high standard country I had experienced so many obstacles and I gradually built a lot intangible skills with truly open eyes experiences. Thankfully, I also found my love destiny here. I met and married a nice, thoughtful Vietnam American man after three year dating. After that, we move to Germany due to my husband assignment job over a year. And finally, I remembered on October 2011, the first day I stepped my foot on American land with curious and happy that had fulfilled my family dream. Living in this country I do not have to suffer from any obstacles. But dream is always dream. The next day I was disappointed to see an old homeless man asking for my help, I wondered "Am I still in Vietnam"? He reminded my poor family, I need to be responsible and be stronger to pursue my goals. In order to help that man, to help my family, I need to study hard and earn money to support people in need. In my heart, No matter what I do, I must be capable providing assistance for others.
So I became determined and believed that I must continue my education until I reach final goal. I want to pursue a career in medical field. It is indeed my dream career and I intend to achieve my parent's dream through it. I want to help my family stand on their feet, I want to be paid off for my struggle and have a better life for me. I was so excited to discover Empire State College which just perfectly around my area and right for me. I have also reviewed several alumni, all of whom agree that attending Empire State College was one of the best things they ever did. Moreover, I had attended the Information assessment on fifteenth January to know more about Empire State College which offers the undergraduate degree with the nursing program and the courses that I am interest. It also offer flexible option study and it have great faculty, a warm, diverse community and traditional according to students. Therefore, this is exactly the college I want to attend in this year.
When I look back I see the challenges I faced had made me a stronger person, they nurtured my determination, perseverance and courage. I did not let any hardship hold me back. Most importantly, they helped me light my parent's eyes with hope. Yes, I am determined to pursue my goals no matter what obstacle stands in my way. Base on my experiences, hardship and strength, I have set my goals for a 4 years college degree to become a helpful nurse. And I believed I would be a successful student in Empire State College learning environment.
Writing assessment
Empire State College offers a unique learning environment for the busy learner who may be juggling a number of roles, spouse, parent, manager, entrepreneur, volunteer, caregiver, and more. We offer a flexible learning environment, with individually designed degree programs, and opportunities to study online, face to face, or a combination of the two.
In a type essay of no fewer than 300 words, please describe:
1. Your reason for applying to Empire State College.
2. Your personal and professional goals, and what topics or areas you hope to study.
3. Your strengths and experiences (educational, employment, community and personal background) that will make you a successful student in our learning environment.
MY WORLD MADE MY DREAM AS A NURSE
My world has been changing constantly throughout the twenty seventh years of my life nurturing my character and personality to be what I am today. Being born as second child in a poor family, my world was full of hardship and challenges, but I believe that everything happened for a purpose, and indeed for a good purpose. In every hard work I made, there is a success in the end. At the young age, I have overcome lots of challenges in life. I put my dreams on hold for years, and now when I had already set my foot on American land I will never give up to fulfill my dream to complete education and become a helpful nurse.
My name is "My" which is often misspelled and misunderstanding in English. "Beautiful girl, you are our special gift, your name stands for our dream. MY means American, you have to study hard so you do not end up like us" my parent's words still echo in my ears as they described me often. Later I discovered my parent sorrow story and kept dreaming of American, the promise land which is wealthy, freedom and independence. In 1975, my parent escaped from Vietnam to United State of American to avoid Communist regime and look for a better life but they could not make it. Their regretful eyes and their words together passed a powerful massage to my young mind and I am determined that I should take studies very seriously because it is the only opening for us to hope for a better life.
It was not just the financial difficulties that I had to manage as a young kid. I frequently help my parent with miscellaneous chores along their side around the house and farms. Together with I faced other challenges too, my mother used to hospitalized caused by low quality life and hard working and I was with her all the time. These issues at family front affected my grades time to time. But I always made a come back because I never forgot my parent's words and their hopes in me. As I was fifteenth, when I was with my mother in the hospital, I looked up to the nurses who took a good care for all the patients and help them reduce suffering from illness. At that moment, I really wanted to have the same healing hands. I also realized that there are many rewards to fulfill my life as well as my family to work in healthcare field. Those rewards come from both spiritually and financially. In nursing field, I would have more opportunities to gain more knowledge and become successfully as well as competitive to any other profession. The best thing is the emotional reward, the felling of knowing I can make a difference in someone's life. There will be always a need in healthcare fields at anytime or place.
After finished high school, my parent could not afford for my college tuition. I had to work several job to support my family and pay off the debts caused by my mother treatments. Twenty two years old, I was luckily hired to work oversea as a technician specialist in Singapore. It is too much to diverse and immerse in other country with multicultural and traditional. Living and working in a high standard country I had experienced so many obstacles and I gradually built a lot intangible skills with truly open eyes experiences. Thankfully, I also found my love destiny here. I met and married a nice, thoughtful Vietnam American man after three year dating. After that, we move to Germany due to my husband assignment job over a year. And finally, I remembered on October 2011, the first day I stepped my foot on American land with curious and happy that had fulfilled my family dream. Living in this country I do not have to suffer from any obstacles. But dream is always dream. The next day I was disappointed to see an old homeless man asking for my help, I wondered "Am I still in Vietnam"? He reminded my poor family, I need to be responsible and be stronger to pursue my goals. In order to help that man, to help my family, I need to study hard and earn money to support people in need. In my heart, No matter what I do, I must be capable providing assistance for others.
So I became determined and believed that I must continue my education until I reach final goal. I want to pursue a career in medical field. It is indeed my dream career and I intend to achieve my parent's dream through it. I want to help my family stand on their feet, I want to be paid off for my struggle and have a better life for me. I was so excited to discover Empire State College which just perfectly around my area and right for me. I have also reviewed several alumni, all of whom agree that attending Empire State College was one of the best things they ever did. Moreover, I had attended the Information assessment on fifteenth January to know more about Empire State College which offers the undergraduate degree with the nursing program and the courses that I am interest. It also offer flexible option study and it have great faculty, a warm, diverse community and traditional according to students. Therefore, this is exactly the college I want to attend in this year.
When I look back I see the challenges I faced had made me a stronger person, they nurtured my determination, perseverance and courage. I did not let any hardship hold me back. Most importantly, they helped me light my parent's eyes with hope. Yes, I am determined to pursue my goals no matter what obstacle stands in my way. Base on my experiences, hardship and strength, I have set my goals for a 4 years college degree to become a helpful nurse. And I believed I would be a successful student in Empire State College learning environment.
