Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
We are on the plane again, luckily I was able to snatch the window seat so I could wave goodbye to the green bushel country of Ecuador. It wasn't at all as I expected it to be, all the imaginary scenes that were created in my head couldn't come close to the roads, houses, people, beaches, animals, weather, clothes, or foods. This new realm was unfamiliar to the place I called home, it was like I became Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Reflecting back on the three week adventure in Quito it soon turned into an understanding of where I came from.
The adventure started on a windy road. Bump after bump through mountains with unpaved roads and puncturing rocks; my mother's aunt took us for a ride in a small car for more than four hours. Once we reached our destination the sky grew overcast in a split second and rain came pouring down. It was quite strange, I thought it only rained in winter, its July. I was forced to enter a narrow canoe, which had a hint of deterioration, with no lifejacket. The positive of the adventure was seeing all the animals in their natural habitat. Who knew there was a world so natural and unindustrialized? It was a kid's dream playground with tall wet tress and mosquito's leaving marks on your flesh to remind you that it was all real.
The lushes' country was so different from the small-enclosed environment of the suburbs; which was my world, I had no idea there was more than what I knew. Walking through the claustrophobic city streets of Ecuador looking up at the apartment buildings reaching so high that it made the sky seem tangible, brought familiar feelings of L.A. However, the roads at home weren't brick or dirt, the air didn't make you cough every time you breathed, and most importantly the poverty isn't as apparent. Every where we went whether it was going for a walk through a park, going toward Cotopaxi (Andes Mountains), or stuck in traffic, the children begged for anything. There were more hands held up than I could count and with each new face meeting mine despair grew in my heart. Knowing I couldn't save all of them right away, I vowed to come back and disperse of those hands.
After hearing the soul of the people and learning their traditions, the appreciation I had for my culture billowed farther than the sea. Ecuador will always be apart of me and the chance I had to dip myself into the culture by physically being in it attributed a dream of mine. And that is to become educated in other cultures and be exposed to more worlds so that I could find a commonality in all people. If only society could take a trip outside of their personal worlds, only then will our country as a whole come to an understanding of other countries and their beliefs.
just a couple things- in the second paragraph,"I thought it only rained in winter, its July" should be changed to it was july, since thought is already past tense.
- i love how you used the word hint.
- tell more about how the experience shaped you into who you are today and how you plan to take what you learned into the future.
- the story-telling is good because they like a lot of detail but make sure you tie in everything so things don't seem meaningless.
- you already have a good use of language but if you would like, i recommend using thesaurus.com. i always use it and i love it!
i like this essay a lot, and good luck!
I'm really sorry to do this, but i also have an essay and would love some feedback!
