Help! Thank You in advance! I will critique your essays!
Since the sixth grade, I had an immediate attraction to writing my opinions. When I coupled it with my love of music, I knew I had something going for me. Writing Music Opinions has really taught me a lot about myself. Giving my opinion in writing has always been an issue for me. Writing my music reviews really gives me the confidence I have not discovered in my writing. I feel as if these reviews also help me grow as a leader. The people who are reading my reviews are trusting me to make the best judgment possible so they can make sound musical decisions.
Writing reviews is an activity that I hold near and dear to me. Whenever I need to relieve stress, all I need to do is just grab my notebook and my iPod and let the words take over.
I think many of your sentences are too short, and somehow the whole essay doesn't flow well. Some grammar:
Since the sixth grade, I had (i think this should be past perfect?) an immediate attraction to writing my opinions.
People who read my reviews trust me to make the best judgment possible so they can make sound musical decisions.
hope this helps!
Alrighty! This helps a lot! Thank You a lot :)
anyone else?
try to vary the sentence structures. delete or replace excess words
"Giving my opinion in writing has always been an issue for me. Writing my music reviews really gives me the confidence I have not discovered in my writing."- work on this and show a little what you mean when you say writing reviews has given you confidence.
"The people who are reading my reviews are trusting me to make the best judgment possible so they can make sound musical decisions."- My personal opinion is that USUALLY every action has a reciprocation.We are affected by our own actions.so does this work only one way? as in are only the people at an advantage or are you benefitted as well because you have to put in your best efforts to be evaluative and stuff like that?
Yes! Since the 6th grade, I have had...good catch, macca!
Dramatic pause:
Writing reviews is an activity that I hold near and dear to me. Whenever I need to relieve stress, all I need to do is just grab my notebook and my iPod -- and let the words take over.
:-)
I have redone my short essay!
Talking has always been my forte. It wasn't until sixth grade that when my English teacher told me to start writing in the hopes I would become an Orator. With time, I dropped my dreams of becoming an orator but still continued to write. When I wrote a review on Tobais Wolff's "This Boy's Life" and was praised for my writing style. I knew I was onto something with writing reviews. When I coupled it with my love of music, I found my passion.
Writing has not always been my strong suit, I have always had an issue expressing myself on paper. I have always felt that I sound foolish and ignorant when writing. When I started to write consistently, I grew not only as a writer but as an individual. Writing my music reviews really gives me the confidence I have not discovered in my writing.
Writing reviews is an activity that I hold near and dear to me. Whenever I need to relieve stress, all I need to do is just grab my notebook and my iPod -- and let the words take over.
no one...
It wasn't until sixth grade that when my English teacher ...
Hey, maybe you should use some voice recognition software so that you can dictate instead of typing. I am the opposite of you: I express myself well in writing, but I fumble over words speaking aloud... and that makes me think of how our brains differ with regard to the way we process information.
You may be able to make this stronger by citing Gardner's "multiple intelligences" theory or some other work that shows how we all process information differently... that would be an impressive kind of reference for this essay.
Good luck!!