Yay, we are officially Stanford Cardinals! - Stanford Supp/ Roommate

Prompt: Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate- and us- know you better
This is just a rough draft and free writing. Also, I couldn't decide on which bullet points to elaborate on. So feel free to be as critical as possible bcuz it would be very much appreciated.

Dear roommate,
Yay, we are officially Stanford Cardinals! I'm so excited and a little nervous to venture into this journey as roomies but I know we will end up be such great friends.

To start off, here are few things you should know about me:
1. I love to sing. So if you see one or two things broken, you definitely know what I've been up to (Just kidding, I'm not that bad of a singer). I enjoy music and I hope you do as well because I'm looking forward to several karaoke sessions with you.

2. I have the tendency to break into some Chris brown moves or practice my spins once in a while. And since I am not a very good dancer, I get hurt a lot because I always bump into the wall (Don't laugh...well okay you can I guess)

3. I a huge fan of healthy living (I'm not some healthy freak). As a Nigerian girl, I was raised in the kitchen (not literally) which has a huge influence on why cooking is one of my favorite hobbies. However, I am a believer for healthy eating and throw in veggies when cooking. In addition, I was raised to living healthy as well. Yes, I know, it means exercise. You will catch me taking a jog either in the mornings or evenings and trust me I'll drag you along (it's not going to be a 10 miles jog or anything crazy like that, just a few blocks jog).

4. I am very neat and organized...most of the time and I'm a fashionista. I love dressing up and I follow the rule "classy and modest not trashy".

5. I'm not a fan of cussing or nasty behaviors. I am believe in respect for oneself and for others, so don't worry-I am not a diva or a drama queen. I love peace and am a peacemaker and in cases when we disagree or argue, we will talk things out right away.

6. Most importantly, I am very diligent in my studies and hope we will help each other out in our academics and have our own study time if we share a class together as well. Since I take my academics very seriously I tend to have a mom like behavior when it come to that (I'll drag you out of bed if you have a test and you haven't studies and make sure you get up early to go to class)

1. Chris brown ->Chris Brown
3. I a-> I am a
5. I am believe in-> I believe in
6. Most importantly, I am very diligent in my studies and hope we will help each other out in our academics and have our own study time if we share a class together as well .

-> period after "studies" and begin a new sentence with "Therefore I "
Also I think it would be better to delete the last part.(if.. as well)
Since I take my academics very seriously I tend to have a mom like behavior when it come to that (I'll drag you out of bed if you have a test and you haven't studies and make sure you get up early to go to class)

-> mom-like-behavior
come-comes
last part-> if you are not studying even if you have a test

Interesting format, it will definitely stand out. I am having some problems with this essay too.

I know, it is hard to write since you have to create an audience (either someone who is totally opposite, or similar to you) in your head.

I like how you are writing as if you are talking to ur roommate
very good
i'm having problems with mineeee

Thanks for the sharp eye :) I didn't catch those little mistakes- they always try to find their way through huh?

I really like your format and style. However it seems you are finishing the letter without concluding. It would be better if you add few more sentences at the end.

Overall good letter. :)

I don't really know how to use those red cross things so I'm just going to revise it without red marks.
1. I love to sing. So if you see one or two things broken, you definitely know what I've been up to (Just kidding, I'm not that bad of a singer). I enjoy music and I hope you do as well because I'm looking forward to several karaoke sessions with you.

2. I have the tendency to break into some Chris Brown moves or practice my spins once in a while. And since I am not a very good dancer, I get hurt a lot because I always bump into the wall (Don't laugh...well okay you can I guess)

3. I a huge fan of healthy living (I'm not some healthy freak). As a Nigerian girl, I was raised in the kitchen (not literally) which has a huge influence on why cooking is one of my favorite hobbies. However, I am a fan of healthy eating and from time to time, I would throw in veggies when cooking. In addition, I was raised to living healthy as well. Yes, I know, it means exercise. You will catch me taking a jog either in the mornings or evenings and trust me I'll drag you along (it's not going to be a 10 miles jog or anything crazy like that, just a few blocks jog).

4. I am very neat and organized...most of the time and I'm a fashionista. I love dressing up and I follow the rule "classy and modest not trashy".

5. I'm not a fan of cussing or nasty behaviors. I believe in having respect for oneself and others, so don't worry-I am not a diva or a drama queen. I love peace and I am a peacemaker and in cases when we disagree or argue, we will talk things out right away.

6. Most importantly, I am very diligent in my studies and hope we will help each other out in our academics and have our own study time if we share a class together as well. Since I take my academics very seriously I tend to have a mom like behavior when it come to that (I'll drag you out of bed if you have a test and you haven't studies and make sure you get up early to go to class)

Good Work! Your letter is interesting and gets straight to the point. It also shows your personality. Hope it helps :D

wait..
I think mother-like would be better than mom-like because it is more formal :)

I liked the tidbit about Nigeria, I think you should elaborate more on your Nigerian upbringing and how it shaped you because its unique :).