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'38 year old daughter-in-law' - my extra curricular activity essay

menukagrg 7 / 98  
Jan 9, 2012   #1
A 38 year old daughter-in-law who quit school when she was in grade 7 to get married, a 46 year old devoted wife who came closest to getting an education when she would stare at her brother amble to school, a 50 year old jaunty grandmother who mustered up the courage to learn, only after becoming a widow. These are some of the many brave students in my cousin's Praudh Shiksha class, a place where these women challenge their cruel fate. I do not help them learn mere alphabets and numbers: I hand them the power to own their life. Albeit gradual, the learning process is anything but insipid. Listening and ruminating different stories is both heart wrenching and powerful. Many women have been the victim of the sanctimonious society that loftily hands the prerogative to study, if not only, more to sons. But now they fight to finally retrieve their right to learn, and more importantly, to live. And I have the privilege to become a part of it.

Note. This is my third essay on the same topic. I think the essay is missing something and it is not clear. I have chosen to write about my experience in teaching women how to read and write. Also, extra question. Is extra curricular activity suppose to be only the ones you were involved in during your school? I am on my break and this essay is based on my teaching experience during this time. Please let me know. Thank you. :) Will be happy to read yours.
amespeed 3 / 7  
Jan 9, 2012   #2
I would suggest writing more about what you actually do, and less about the lives of the women you help. That would help put the focus more on you, after all, it is YOUR essay.
OP menukagrg 7 / 98  
Jan 10, 2012   #3
Superb!! Thanks. I do have some space left to write more but i don't think it's enough but i will work on it. Also, Praudh Shiksha is the name of a certain type of class, hence, the apostrophe comma. But again, thank you so much.

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