I am applying to UT - Austin for the fall semester. I know it's a little short, but how does this sound:
My father devoted 23 years as a police officer to the city of McAllen and my mother has worked for the FBI for 17 years and counting. During the time I spent under their roof, my interest in law enforcement and particularly the FBI has increased through the experiences I have had when meeting various agents and the reading of the company's literature. Some of the FBI's career paths that have been available to those with a bachelor's degree in psychology include the Crimes Against Children program, which is what I am interested in.
Growing up, one does not usually encounter stories of abused children; we are typically shielded from the harsh reality that many people face, simply because it makes us uncomfortable. As I learned about this nearly unthinkable plight that many children face, my eyes were opened to the people around me that have suffered in silence. The statistics alone are alarming, but there are so many more people that do not report anything to the authorities. I want to use my degree to help defend those that oftentimes are unable to defend themselves.
Upon graduating early in high school, I decided to go to Los Angeles to attend school, but became homesick after a year out there. Most of my family is in Austin, so I packed up and left, with very little money. Because of this, I had to put school aside and work full time. Slowly, I added one class each semester to see how much I could handle while working forty hours a week.
With about half the course work behind me, I feel like the closer I am to my duty of helping others, the more I want it and am determined to do the best that I possibly can; that is why I can say I have grown each semester. My grades start from all over the alphabet to straight A's, and for me, there is nowhere else to go but up.
From my research on this university, I have discovered that the University of Texas at Austin is one of the top ranking schools for its psychology programs. The developmental area of study would allow me to understand how children handle certain situations and which coping mechanism would work best for their specific circumstance. I am also very interested in and am excited about joining the Summer Undergraduate Resarch Experience. I love the idea of being exposed to new skills and experiences in psychology. By being a part of this weird and diverse population, I know I can inspire and be inspired to enhance the capabilities of myself and others.
is the section that i italicized too specific? I don't want them to think that I think that's all there is to developmental psychology...
My father devoted 23 years as a police officer to the city of McAllen and my mother has worked for the FBI for 17 years and counting. During the time I spent under their roof, my interest in law enforcement and particularly the FBI has increased through the experiences I have had when meeting various agents and the reading of the company's literature. Some of the FBI's career paths that have been available to those with a bachelor's degree in psychology include the Crimes Against Children program, which is what I am interested in.
Growing up, one does not usually encounter stories of abused children; we are typically shielded from the harsh reality that many people face, simply because it makes us uncomfortable. As I learned about this nearly unthinkable plight that many children face, my eyes were opened to the people around me that have suffered in silence. The statistics alone are alarming, but there are so many more people that do not report anything to the authorities. I want to use my degree to help defend those that oftentimes are unable to defend themselves.
Upon graduating early in high school, I decided to go to Los Angeles to attend school, but became homesick after a year out there. Most of my family is in Austin, so I packed up and left, with very little money. Because of this, I had to put school aside and work full time. Slowly, I added one class each semester to see how much I could handle while working forty hours a week.
With about half the course work behind me, I feel like the closer I am to my duty of helping others, the more I want it and am determined to do the best that I possibly can; that is why I can say I have grown each semester. My grades start from all over the alphabet to straight A's, and for me, there is nowhere else to go but up.
From my research on this university, I have discovered that the University of Texas at Austin is one of the top ranking schools for its psychology programs. The developmental area of study would allow me to understand how children handle certain situations and which coping mechanism would work best for their specific circumstance. I am also very interested in and am excited about joining the Summer Undergraduate Resarch Experience. I love the idea of being exposed to new skills and experiences in psychology. By being a part of this weird and diverse population, I know I can inspire and be inspired to enhance the capabilities of myself and others.
is the section that i italicized too specific? I don't want them to think that I think that's all there is to developmental psychology...