Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 6


"Yes, I am an idiot.." - My Common App Essay ( Fictional Character)



ItsokaytoGaga 15 / 93  
Mar 2, 2011   #1
Hey guys, I am really unsure about this essay. PLEASE help me by telling me what you feel about it. Leave a comment... :)

Being part of the Indian Society can be a little difficult for students and more difficult if one belongs to an average middle class family. When stakes are high and competition is stiff, most parents expect nothing but good grades and top performance from their children. Unfortunately, the Indian education system is designed in a way that it leaves little scope for a student to have ample leisure time or an opportunity to explore their options and provides maximum stress.

While growing up in this same society I was asked a countless number of times, "What do you want to become?" and "Where do you want to work when you grow up?" I never seemed to come up with a satisfying answer. I always stumbled to find words; not because I did have any convictions or goals but I was bemused over the fact that people who were not certain of what would happen in the coming few days would stressed so much about knowing what I wanted to become twenty years later. This peculiar adult idiosyncrasy was beyond my understanding. This was precisely where I was at a great loss.

By the end of tenth grade, almost everyone around me had some idea of what they were heading towards. The same friends I spent so much of my time, had decided what they wanted to do and study. The doors were closing in on me and time was running out. I had to choose. After weeks of thinking and discussion with my parents, I let my parents choose for me. Yes, a seemingly simple but grave mistake.

My parents enrolled me in a pre-college engineering prep class. I did fine for a few months. But eventually, it became toxic for me. I did not enjoy studying what my parents chose. Hence, I spent the next couple of my crucial high school months wallowing with the guilt of having chosen something I did not like and letting my parents down. I was trapped. Then through the dark clouds of despair came my savior - maybe not as dramatically but yes almost close.

It was the cold and drab winter of my junior year, which to my surprise was complementing the nature of my rather bleak mood patterns at that time. My cousins wanted to watch a movie. So we decided on watching '3 Idiots'. It was then I met Rancho, the film's protagonist. Rancho is definitely a great sobriquet to the ridiculously long name - 'Ranchoddas Shyamaldas Chanchad'. But like the simplified version of his name, Rancho's outlook towards life was just as forthright and uncomplicated. His genuine and free-spirited nature appealed to me greatly. Yes, Rancho inspired me.

According to Rancho, if you love something, chances are that you will do the best in it without doubt. Life on screen is definitely all sugar-coated and candy floss especially if it's a corny Bollywood movie. But it was the message that Rancho passed on made it absolutely beautiful. I had wasted months trying to talk myself into doing something I never enjoyed. The guilt of letting my parents down was enormous. The fact that it was my fault for not taking a stance made it worse. Rancho helped me overcome all. A free spirited individual, Rancho was driven by the passion to learn. He loved innovation and invention. His simplistic and novel approach seemed deviant from all conventional norms. Hence, many skeptic people around him called him an 'Idiot'. But the sly comments did not mar him down. He was proud to be an 'Idiot'.

So I realized that all this while I had made my own life so difficult. It was because I was afraid to choose. Doing something I did not enjoy, I came to my senses and moved a step closer to finding something that I had always loved - Biology. Why was it difficult for me to make a simple decision earlier? Well, should I blame the Indian society for this? Or should I put the blame on my parents? Or just the frizzled mixture of hormones that impaired me reasoning? I cannot put the blame on either. Through Rancho's vision I learnt that it is best to choose something in which you can best invest your time and energy, no matter how great or small the returns. I would like to quote him here - "Pursue excellence and success will fall at your feet".

It requires great amount of courage to stand up to your own decisions and convictions. Everything seems easy when you're the part of the crowd as a follower. Because things have already been explored and paths have already been discovered. One does not require extra effort to venture out and find new routes. These are the perks of being a follower. But on the other hand, competition is greater and resources are limited in such areas. It was Rancho who made me aware that it is not stupid to stray away from the herd if that's where my happiness lay. Rancho made me bolder to stand up to my convictions. He helped gain courage to face my parents and tell them that I wished to do something different. He helped me to think freely. He made me realize that I can choose to view my world in two ways - one, as the rest of the world sees it and the other, as I see it.

In retrospect I would add that all of us have a bit of Rancho in us. All of us want to be free and uninhibited. All of us desire to do something we love. Why do we forget that as children we wished to astronomers, paleontologists, painters or writers? As we grew up society made us weigh the pros and cons of every single action we took. We became more rational and tended to choose things that gave us the best returns. Rancho helped me get rid of these stereotyped beliefs.

So all we need is a little push, to bring out the little Rancho in us. I have grown into a more sensible, motivated and confident person since the previous winter. I have realized my mistakes and have tried my best to learn from them. And all credit goes to Rancho for opening my eyes. I wish I could say someone as great as Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi or Mother Teresa influenced me. But I can't. It was Rancho who pulled me out from the bleak void. I now approach life and other things with greater zest and courage. And if this makes me an 'Idiot', I don't mind being called one.

THANKS FOR READING!! =)
Was it anywhere near interesting to read?

ScarleyKen 1 / 1  
Mar 4, 2011   #2
Through Rancho's vision I learned that it is best to choose something in which you can best invest your time and energy, no matter how great or small the return is .

I would like to quote him here - "Pursue excellence and success will fall at your feet". --I would revise this instead of saying im going to quote him here just write something like " Pursue excellence..." as said by Rancho or As Rancho once said "Pursue..."

Everything seems easy when you're the part of the crowd as a follower the follower instead of the leader. Because Reason beign things have already been explored and paths have already been discovered.It does not require for one to put extra effort to venture out and find new routes.ButO n the other hand, competition is greater and resources are limited in such areas.

He helped me gain courage to

So all we need is a little push, to bring out the little Rancho in us

And All credit goes to Rancho

Teresa influenced me , but I can't.

Those are some of the things I think should be changed but it is your essay so its all up to you...other than that it was good..
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Mar 5, 2011   #3
leaves little scope for a student to have ample leisure time or an opportunity to explore their options and provides maximum stress.

I feel like a sentence is missing here. It is not necessary to have a thesis statement at the end of the first para, but it really helps.

At the end of the second para, you are talking about this common question faced by all kids. I feel like it is not a necessary part of the essay...

In the third para, you continue to talk about how everyone else found some direction, and you did not. Were you not reading any books? Usually when people read a lot they develop a lot of interests and goals. So... do not think I am criticizing you... I just want to share with you this idea: focus on what you have been certain about, not what you have been uncertain about.

Hey, as i continue to read, I see that this gets better and better. I really don't like the first few paragraphs, though!

So... I enjoy it more and more as I progress toward the excellent ending. I just think you should revise the beginning so that it does not focus on the common question of what to be, does not highlight your indecision...

:-)
OP ItsokaytoGaga 15 / 93  
Mar 12, 2011   #4
Hi EF_Kevin! Thank You for your help again. :)

I agree with what you have said. I was certain about what I liked. But I never saw myself pursuing it ... maybe to study or perhaps make a career out of it. It's like one of those things that you always have but it's kind of taken for granted. Perhaps it was something like that for me. That's why in spite of reading or counselling, I never saw myself fitting anywhere because I was looking in the wrong direction.

That is why the reason I mentioned some of the things about the Indian society in the initial paragraphs. My main problem was that my family and relatives have or rather have had a major role deciding their children's career path. Almost to the extent that some children do not have, or rather, have had any autonomy over what they wanted to pursue. This sort of held me back. I never got the courage to stand up to my convictions.... Fortunately, I was lucky enough to have parents who are very understanding and open in their approach.... Perhaps I should have elaborated a little on these points.

My main focus on the essay was to show that how my lack of faith in myself and an indecision led me to the realization of what I really wished to do and of course how this "fictional character" helped me in the course. :-)

I am really glad you brought noteworthy points to my attention. Thank you so much again.

Do you think it fits the "Fictional Character" essay well enough?

Does it work well as my "main common app essay" ?? :-|
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Mar 14, 2011   #5
Do you think it fits the "Fictional Character" essay well enough?

It does, but now that I am looking at it again, I guess I think you should try to answer the question earlier in the essay. The reader can get frustrated, especially if he is the authoritarian type. Answer the question sooner in the essay, and you will make the reader feel placated.

Anyway, I am just saying that because you made me think of it. A smart reader will recognize your thoughtfulness and intelligence... no changes are really necessary!
OP ItsokaytoGaga 15 / 93  
Mar 14, 2011   #6
Thank for the help Kevin! :)
I really appreciate it...=)


Home / Undergraduate / "Yes, I am an idiot.." - My Common App Essay ( Fictional Character)
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳