'Yoga, Take in a deep breath' - Common Application Extracurricular activity

Topic: Common Application Extracurricular activity(1000 characters)

"Take in a deep breath. Feel the energy pervading through your body." I sit still in my cross-legged posture. My guru's words pierce through the veil of silence. My back is as straight as a beanpole; my eyes are shut. I block out all thoughts from my mind. Darkness descends on my inner eye. I feel a sense of inner peace, of intense calm. I become conscious of my own breathing. Breathe in and out, I chant to myself. Focus on the darkness. For a minute, I lose myself to another world. Serenity, tranquility and quietness all cascade like the healing torrent of the waterfall of health. It purifies me; it chastises my being. " Slowly open your eyes." The session has ended. My yoga class for the day is over. But my day has just begun. My karma, my actions are all guided by the power of yoga. I feel energized, ready to take on the challenges the world has to offer. Every day as I curl my legs to begin my meditation, the chaos of my soul falls still. And in this silence, I find my inner self.

Please give your comments.
Thanks!

Abha

I love from "My yoga class for the day is over" onward to the end. I thought that was masterfully written. The experience at the beginning was good too. I really liked your essay.

Hope this helps!

My karma, my actions are all guided by the power of yoga. think this sentence sounds awkward..maybe thats just me?
Besides that, I love your essay! Its really good!! And I love doing yoga too!

Do you think I can upload this?
Or is it too superficial? Because this is what I genuinely feel in yoga class.
Should I alter it?

Personally I think that the people reading it will love it. I'm not sure but I do think they want to know how you feel. So this is right on the spot :)