Youth conservatory program ; COMMON APP ACTIVITY

Going into my junior year I wanted to expand my performing arts interests and decided to look for a program I could do over the summer. The options were numerous but; I decided to go with the Youth conservatory program at the Los Angeles Theater Center because it offered the best opportunity for learning. However on the first day, my perception of what it was going to be was completely opposite. Most of the students were not actors and the curriculum though thought to be intensive training involved writing, movement, and acting classes that were minimal and basic. But through my time spent in the program, my mindset changed completely. I learned to work with a variety of people and glimpsed the essence of performing at its best. Though initially displaced, I will never regret being a part of the program for it gave me knowledge and rewarding experiences that I will use throughout my life and will never forget.

urgent!

This is a good start, but if I were you I would make if more about what you learned, make the beginning shorter and then go into a lot of detail about how it wasn't what you expected but it taught you a lot.

Thank you
Many more help i could get?

Any more help?

I like the experience you choose to write about. However, I think that it is somewhat boring. You should have something that can catch the readers' attention. Also, rather than just saying " But through my time spent in the program, my mindset changed completely.", it will be better to "show" how your mind changed (ex. your actions).

Good luck! I hope this helps

Is this better??
Going into my junior year I wanted to expand my performing arts interests and decided to look for a program I could do over the summer. The options were numerous but; I decided to go with the Youth conservatory program at the Los Angeles Theater Center because it offered the best opportunity for learning. However on the first day, my perception of what it was going to be was completely different. Most of the students were not actors and the curriculum though thought to be intensive training involved classes that were minimal and basic at first. But through my time spent in the program, my understanding and growth as a performer was incredible. I learned to work with a variety of people and glimpsed the essence of performing at its best through different aspects of theater. Though initially displaced, I will never regret being a part of the program for it gave me knowledge and rewarding experiences that I will use throughout my life and will never forget.

Touch up looks better- are you in the word count?