Hi, I am currently working on a transfer admissions essay for Texas A&M University. Any input/help you can provide is greatly appreciated.
Prompt:
The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.
Essay:
Zero and one, the most powerful numbers known to man, have the ability to aid in medical treatment, put a man on the moon, and help us operate through our day to day lives. These seemingly insignificant numbers are in fact the building blocks of binary code, the basis of all computer operations and programs. I remember learning this and being astounded, in fact every time I learned something new about a computer I yearned to know more. I took computer science courses and learned about programming languages such a HTML, java and C++. It became a game of logic played against myself to see how much better I could code a program than my previous attempt. By the time I was asked what I wanted to do in life after high school, the answer was simple. I was going to be a software engineer, but how was I to attain my goal?
Trinity Valley Community College's Cardinal Regiment offered me a substantial scholarship to perform music and participate in various ensembles such as the Wildcard Swing Orchestra and pep band. This coupled with affordable tuition as well as a remarkable computer science program made me feel as if it was the right stepping stone on my path to success. As my funds began to run low and I ran into some family troubles, I needed to look for a solution. The best option for me was to pause my education and serve my country. It offered a guaranteed paycheck as well as the Post 9/11 G.I. Bill and tuition assistance programs for me to continue my education once I was able. When it was time to pick my military occupation, I simply asked, "What is the most challenging thing you have?" That's when they sent me to the Naval School of Explosive Ordnance Disposal. There I learned how to study and retain large amounts of information quickly, afford attention to even the minutest detail, and work under immense pressure. These traits are what keep a technician alive. The next four years were spent serving my country mitigating explosive hazards both in the United States as well as overseas.
Now, as I transition from the military, after sufficient research and with a lot of thought, I know my best opportunities to achieve excellence are ahead of me at Texas A&M University. Being one of the top ranking universities in computer science, I feel the education I would receive would be difficult to match. Additionally, many of the university's core values, such as loyalty, selfless service, honor, and integrity, are the very same values military service members pride themselves upon. The master's degree in computer science offered is my ultimate goal; however, this is supported by many smaller goals such as excelling in my classes, participating in extracurricular activities the university offers, and always striving to be a better person and student than I was the day before.
So how am I to obtain my goal? By excelling at Texas A&M University in every aspect and striving to always be better, I will achieve a master's degree unlocking the door to my dreams. From there, the possibilities open to me as a software engineer are endless: Google, Microsoft, Apple just to name a few. All of this because of zero and one.
Prompt:
The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.
Essay:
Zero and one, the most powerful numbers known to man, have the ability to aid in medical treatment, put a man on the moon, and help us operate through our day to day lives. These seemingly insignificant numbers are in fact the building blocks of binary code, the basis of all computer operations and programs. I remember learning this and being astounded, in fact every time I learned something new about a computer I yearned to know more. I took computer science courses and learned about programming languages such a HTML, java and C++. It became a game of logic played against myself to see how much better I could code a program than my previous attempt. By the time I was asked what I wanted to do in life after high school, the answer was simple. I was going to be a software engineer, but how was I to attain my goal?
Trinity Valley Community College's Cardinal Regiment offered me a substantial scholarship to perform music and participate in various ensembles such as the Wildcard Swing Orchestra and pep band. This coupled with affordable tuition as well as a remarkable computer science program made me feel as if it was the right stepping stone on my path to success. As my funds began to run low and I ran into some family troubles, I needed to look for a solution. The best option for me was to pause my education and serve my country. It offered a guaranteed paycheck as well as the Post 9/11 G.I. Bill and tuition assistance programs for me to continue my education once I was able. When it was time to pick my military occupation, I simply asked, "What is the most challenging thing you have?" That's when they sent me to the Naval School of Explosive Ordnance Disposal. There I learned how to study and retain large amounts of information quickly, afford attention to even the minutest detail, and work under immense pressure. These traits are what keep a technician alive. The next four years were spent serving my country mitigating explosive hazards both in the United States as well as overseas.
Now, as I transition from the military, after sufficient research and with a lot of thought, I know my best opportunities to achieve excellence are ahead of me at Texas A&M University. Being one of the top ranking universities in computer science, I feel the education I would receive would be difficult to match. Additionally, many of the university's core values, such as loyalty, selfless service, honor, and integrity, are the very same values military service members pride themselves upon. The master's degree in computer science offered is my ultimate goal; however, this is supported by many smaller goals such as excelling in my classes, participating in extracurricular activities the university offers, and always striving to be a better person and student than I was the day before.
So how am I to obtain my goal? By excelling at Texas A&M University in every aspect and striving to always be better, I will achieve a master's degree unlocking the door to my dreams. From there, the possibilities open to me as a software engineer are endless: Google, Microsoft, Apple just to name a few. All of this because of zero and one.