Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Think of a skill that a person should have in order to succeed in modern world.



Poojasugandhi 18 / 34  
Nov 7, 2009   #1
Hi everyone,
I am preparing for the toefl ibt, please help me out with the writing section.
Thanks alot.

Toefl Essay,"Think of a skill that a person should have in order to succeed in modern world."

In my opinion, the most important skill to be successful in today's world is to keep oneself updated in every field.

One of the advantage of keeping oneself updated is that, No body can misguide you. If a person is aware about the particular subject than he can present his view if someone is trying to mislead him. For instance, If a person is purchasing a home and he has information about the prices, than he can bargain about the price instead of just finalizing the deal with no arguments. Therefore, a person can make himself protected with other's wrong intention.

Another thing is, knowledge gives a confidence to a person to perform the action. With his knowledge a person can take the new decision by keeping him aware about the positive and negative aspects of particular decision. This make him confident about the action he has to performed. For example, a company manager whose is updated about the new marketing skill, make his decision accordingly and he will be confident about his idea.

Knowledge helps the person to think rationally and make him aware about the rapid changes taking place in the world. Thus a knowledgeable person change and adjust himself according to the new situations easily. This would be helpful for him to be successful. For example, If a advertising company make itself aware about the new methods of attractive launching then it would make this benefit the most in its advertisement for better impact on the public. Thus it make him a better competitor in the world.

In conclusion I must say if a person is updated then with his knowledge make him confident to take risk and easily adaptation in the field if competition. And also make him able to think rationally before taking any decision.

Notoman 20 / 414  
Nov 7, 2009   #2
Here are a few thoughts for you:

updated in every field.

Every field? Doctors don't need to know the latest technology used for auto repair and auto technicians really don't need to know how to do brain surgery. This statement is over broad.

One of the advantage of keeping oneself updated is that, No body can misguide you.

One of the advantages . Advantages needs to be plural. nobody No need to capitalize it, but it does need to be one word. When you write it as two words, it looks like the person does not have a body.

If a person is aware about the particular subject than he can present his view if someone is trying to mislead him.

Put a comma after the word "subject." "Than" should be "then."

For instance, If a person is purchasing a home and he has information about the prices, than he can bargain about the price instead of just finalizing the deal with no arguments.

"If" does not need a capital. Again, than should be then.

Therefore, a person can make himself protected with other's wrong intention.

Usually in English, we would say "protect himself" instead of "make himself protected." It flows much better. "Others" here is plural so you would need to write in, "others' wrong intentions."

With his knowledge a person can take the new decision by keeping him aware about the positive and negative aspects of particular decision.

You need a comma after the word "knowledge." There are certain words (when, as, if, while, before, because, on) that will let you know that the possibility of needing a comma is high. Here is a web quiz for you to practice this concept a little more:

newsroom101.com/NR_exercises/grammar/comma/introductorycomma 01.htm

This make him confident about the action he has to performed.

This makes him ... either use "he has to perform" or "has performed."

make his decision accordingly

makes

Knowledge helps the person to think rationally and make him aware

makes

If a advertising company make itself

makes (and "if" should be lowercase)

Thus it make him

makes

In conclusion I must say if a person is updated then with his knowledge make him confident to take risk and easily adaptation in the field if competition. And also make him able to think rationally before taking any decision.

Comma after "conclusion." Comma after the word "updated." Makes. Makes.

This is well organized and thought out. The good news is that most of your mistakes are ones that you make repeatedly. Why is that good news? Because once you figure those things out, your writing will be almost error free! Work on learning about commas after introductory clauses and verb agreement. He makes, she makes, the company makes, it makes, you make, I make, we make, she will make, he will make, we will make ...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 8, 2009   #3
In my opinion, the most important skill to be successful in today's world is the ability to keep oneself updated in every field.

One of the advantages of keeping oneself updated is that, nobody can misguide you. If a person is aware about the subject, then he can present his view if someone is trying to mislead him.

Excellent! You will do well on the TOEFL

Another important observation is this: knowledge gives a confidence to a person to perform the appropriate action. W

For example, a company manager who is updated about the new marketing skills will be able to make his decision accordingly , and he will be confident about his idea.

For example, If an advertising company makes itself aware about the new methods of attractive launching, then it would make this benefit the most in its advertisement for better impact on the public. Thus it makes him a better competitor in the world.

In conclusion I must say if a person is updated, then with his knowledge makes him confident to take risks and easily adapt and thrive among competition. It also makes him able to think rationally before taking any decision.

You will do well on the test, I think, but remember:
It makes
They make
It does
They do
It goes
They go
It flies
They fly
It falls
They fall

So... "it" is singular, an "they" plural.


Home / Writing Feedback / Think of a skill that a person should have in order to succeed in modern world.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳