IELTS academic - Rules on loan and credit card

q : Many people are using credut cards to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amount of money.

Give your opinion.

Essay :
The need for money is everlasting. Introduction of credit have accelerated the debt rate of a person, which many find it hard to replay. The argument put forth is, more stringent rules should be framed for borrowing money. In my opinion, it is correct to have such thrifty rules in lending money for the betterment of an individual.

First of all, in most of the banks, credit card limits are set based on the annual income of the person. For example, if a person earns 600,000 per annum, the amount set on the credit cards will be 100,000 per month. However, the authorities of these banks should make sure that the person repays the amount borrowed for a month in few days, before lending him the money for the next month. This will help in reducing the debt of an individual.

Secondly, many banks, in order to attract customers, offer credit cards to the children of an individual. Credit card usage is an addiction. Making children getting used to this habit might even make them financially handicap in the future. Thus, bank officials should limit their credit card supplies to children, which will in turn limit the debt of their parents.

Opponents of these stringent rules might argue that, these rules will not fit for emergency situations such as sudden medical conditions. In such cases, the banks can always reserve cash for exigent purpose. This will definitely not add up the loan of a person, siting these extreme conditions as excuse.

To conclude, stringent rules should always be imposed on borrowing money through credit cards and this will definitely reduce the financial burden of the common man.

1. in the intro why you used replay instead of merely repay?
2. thrifty means extravagance or economical but not STRICT!!!
3. in the 2nd body you needed handicapped yet u used handicap
4. ,in turn, -- this phrase should stand between two commas
5. at the same paragraph ,,, debt cannot be limited , instead it can be increased!!! misusage of word
6. what do u mean by common man? i suppose u should not have been said this.
OVERALL: not bad . I think it is definitely 6.5+ well done !

Introduction of credit cards hashave accelerated the debt rateindebtedness of a person, which many a them may find it hard to replay. The argument put forth is, more stringent rules should be framed for borrowing money in order to ensure that people spend money wisely.

Good introduction! :)


.... this is happening anway :)
I find a fundamental error with your approach. Let's look at the prompt;


.... this does not ask you the ways of making it difficult for individuals to borrow money for which you have answered in this essay. It actually asks you that whether you agree on this statement or not.

.... These last few words make your sentence messy :(


Well.... it is not an addiction. It is that you get tempted to spend money even if you don't have using the credit card.


Why are you taking children into the scene?

i was struggling to get more points for this essay.. can anyone suggest few more points??

hai...

I too agree that your answer is out of topic.

As a result of using large sum of money through credit card, which is not paybacked, banks face shortage of money. This may affect the economy directly or indirectly.

As the banks were not able to give money to the business firms the growth of business will dininish, unemployment, low tax return and the government may suffer.

Unemployment limits the return of money dubt money, back to bank.

As banks became empty the individual, society and the society suffers.

Results in recession....).

Tessy.

This shortage affect directly or indirectly to the economy