IELTS writing - Academic study vs pratical matters learning

It is often said that the subjects taught in schools are too academic in orientation and that it would be more useful for children to learn about practical matters such as home management, work and interpersonal skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

This is no doubt that all of subjects which includes academic-oriented subject and practical skills to be taught in school can bring more benefits to child in a modern society.

Educationalist think it is very important to educate child to be a rounded individual as they believe the more opportunity of learning about traditional knowledge such as mathmatics and literature, the wiser mind to be developed in the long run. In addition, academic study is very powerful in the formation of mental discipline and sysmatic worldview in order to help the children make sound judgements about problems they may encouner in future. This is probably true to some extent.

On the other hand, some people agree that teaching of practical matters prepare child better for their furture lives, especially in career life. From our own experience, we can find out plenty of evidence that individual who acquire practical skills, for instance, excellent computer skills, speak fluency bilingual lanuage as well as good interpersonal skills and so forth, are likely more competitive than their ordinary peers in the job market. Most of them can get a desirable job at mutli-national company with a high-salary needed by a comfortable life. Because of these advantageous, their path to the success of career is obvious.

In conclusion, I think that the core responsibility of school is not only concentrate on teaching academic knowledge, which is essential at this point, but also providing them access to the specialised knowledge in the real world. The interaction of both sides can help child to become more talented and able person to a society..

=> There is no doubt that all of subjects that include academic-oriented subject and practical skills to be taught in school can bring benefits to children in a modern society.

=> some people agree that teaching of practical matters prepares children better for their furture lives, especially in career life.
===> parallel structure (you use "teaching" as a subject, not practical matters, "children~their" while "child~his or her")

=> we can find out plenty of evidence that individuals who acquire practical skills, for instance, also obtain excellent computer skills and speak fluency bilingual lanuages as well as -- good interpersonal skills, and so forth. These people are more competitive than their ordinary peers in the job market.

(Your sentence confuses because of error in punctuation, so you mean a person who acquires practical skills also is excellent computer skills and speaks fluency bilingual languages and is good interpersonal skills, all in one person?)

=> Most of them are able to get a desirable job at mutli-national company with a high-salary, which provided them a comfortable life.

=> The benefits of both sides can help a child to become more talented and able a person to society. (difficult to undestand?)

=> Because of these advantages, their path to the success is obvious.

=> the core responsibility of school is not only concentrating on teaching academic knowledge, which is essential at this point, but also providing knowledge to access to the real world.

Hi Bahareh, Kathy and Turbina,

Thanks to all of you for helping me at this essay. All the comments you made are the treasures to me.

@ Kathy
I re-wrote the 2 sentences as you commented, please can you let me know if the messages were delivered clearly. :)

1 some people agree that learning about practical matters at early age can prepare children better for their furture lives, especially in career environment.

2 we can find out plenty of evidence that, in the job market, individuals are likely less competitive than their peers who acquire practical skills for instance excellent computer skills and speak fluency bilingual lanuages as well as good interpersonal skills, and so forth.

Some people agree that learning about practical matters at an early age can prepare children better for their future lives, especially in their career environments.

We can find out plenty of evidence that, in the job market, individuals are likely less competitive than their peers who acquire practical skills -- for instance, excellent computer skills and the ability to speak fluently in multiple languages as well as good interpersonal skills, and so forth.

:-)

thank you for your reply, Kevin.

So far I'm a bit confused about at the early age and at an early age. I knew there should have differences between the expressions. Would you mind explain it for me?

Thanks a lot

Best

Paul

At an early age, I began learning letters and words.
At the early age of 3, I began learning letters and words.

Both of these sentences are okay. Does that answer your question?

Sometimes it does not matter whether you use "an" or "the."
At an ice cream a stand near the beach, I lost my wallet.
At the ice cream stand near the beach, I lost my wallet.

When you use "the," you are talking about a specific one.
I am the moderator. More than one moderator exist.
I am a moderator.

I hope that helps!!

It's really helpful. now it's clear to me. Use "the" means more detailed and more specified thing. So in my essay as we talked about,it would be accurate to use "an early age".

Great thanks, Kevin.