Hi Mr. Holt,
Thank you for your previous useful advice. I have written this essay based on your advice.
Is it better than previous essays? (2 public pov, 1 personal pov, the link sentences between these paragraphs)
Is there anything that I should improve?
And 1 more question, this essay is about 364 words, while I only have 40 minutes to write in IELTS test. So it must be too long, so how can I shorten it? Can you see there is any problem that makes my essay longer?
Some people think it is acceptable to use animals for the benefit of humans, other people think it is wrong to exploit animals for human purposes.
Issues related to animal practical uses are frequently discussed these days, particularly in media. Many people claim that animals cannot be used by humans for any purpose, while others disagree with this idea. However, I believe that only using animals for science experiments is acceptable.
People agreed that the practical use of animals contributes a vital importance to humans' life. Animal experimentation for researching purposes is the greatest benefit of this society. When scientists research on medicine or chemical substance to observe its effects on people's activities, they will do operations on animals such as the experiment of goldfish's brain functions to get a result which is similar to the performance on humans, which can minimize risks in advance. However, this practical use is only taken by scientists, not other individuals
.
People are not allowed to use animals to prove a result due to their curiosity. Some people want to know the reactions of wild animals against their tricks then consider it as one kind of research. For example, someone throws a plastic watermelon which looks like that fruit but was made in plastic through a hippo's mouth to see whether it understands that it is not normal food. This action is cruelty to animals which has to be prohibited by governments
In my opinion, whether or not animals should be used to serve people's benefits, it depends on the purposes of people and groups of animals. The use for humane purposes which plays a huge part in social improvement can be acceptable since studies cannot find out a vaccine for humans or potential functions inside our body when lacking these experiments. Moreover, scientists cannot perform on rare and endangered species or normal species without any suitable reason. I think governments should set up the list of experimental animals and requirement for using animals such as the necessary procedures and the reasons before operating on animals in order to identify the legal use on them
To conclude, while I believe that animals should be respected under any circumstance. I have to admit that there is no better way than medical animal testation to secure patients against dangerous effects. However, everyone has to carefully consider our actions on animals due to our morality
Thank you for your previous useful advice. I have written this essay based on your advice.
Is it better than previous essays? (2 public pov, 1 personal pov, the link sentences between these paragraphs)
Is there anything that I should improve?
And 1 more question, this essay is about 364 words, while I only have 40 minutes to write in IELTS test. So it must be too long, so how can I shorten it? Can you see there is any problem that makes my essay longer?
Some people think it is acceptable to use animals for the benefit of humans, other people think it is wrong to exploit animals for human purposes.
Discuss both views and your opinion.
Issues related to animal practical uses are frequently discussed these days, particularly in media. Many people claim that animals cannot be used by humans for any purpose, while others disagree with this idea. However, I believe that only using animals for science experiments is acceptable.
People agreed that the practical use of animals contributes a vital importance to humans' life. Animal experimentation for researching purposes is the greatest benefit of this society. When scientists research on medicine or chemical substance to observe its effects on people's activities, they will do operations on animals such as the experiment of goldfish's brain functions to get a result which is similar to the performance on humans, which can minimize risks in advance. However, this practical use is only taken by scientists, not other individuals
.
People are not allowed to use animals to prove a result due to their curiosity. Some people want to know the reactions of wild animals against their tricks then consider it as one kind of research. For example, someone throws a plastic watermelon which looks like that fruit but was made in plastic through a hippo's mouth to see whether it understands that it is not normal food. This action is cruelty to animals which has to be prohibited by governments
In my opinion, whether or not animals should be used to serve people's benefits, it depends on the purposes of people and groups of animals. The use for humane purposes which plays a huge part in social improvement can be acceptable since studies cannot find out a vaccine for humans or potential functions inside our body when lacking these experiments. Moreover, scientists cannot perform on rare and endangered species or normal species without any suitable reason. I think governments should set up the list of experimental animals and requirement for using animals such as the necessary procedures and the reasons before operating on animals in order to identify the legal use on them
To conclude, while I believe that animals should be respected under any circumstance. I have to admit that there is no better way than medical animal testation to secure patients against dangerous effects. However, everyone has to carefully consider our actions on animals due to our morality