Unanswered [5]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Adults continue to live with parents after they graduated



Sunhee Nguyen 1 / -  
Aug 2, 2021   #1

sharing home with parents at an adult age



In this day and age, many mature citizens prefer living with their parents to having their own life even graduating and finding well-paid occupations. From my perspective, I think that the negativities may contain, however, the benefits accompanying overperformed with those.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that adults can reap enormous benefits from living under the same roof with their parents. In detail, they can have a great financial budget, which will be paid for many expenses like rent, personal activities, food if they have their own life. They in turn can utilize this money to enjoy life, or travel to tourism attractions. Furthermore, they may not bother to do the housework like cleaning, cooking, or taking care of other family members, they can spend all the time finding opportunities to enhance their careers. Consequently, those people's living will be more convenient than remaining people.

On the other hand, continuing to living with parents even when having jobs also exist some drawbacks. First and foremost, because they get used to over-relying on their parents a long term, they may be lack financial management skills which will be extremely detrimental to themselves when they moved out and have their own life. Besides that, if the living with parents descends into private life, those people will get stuck in any trouble about the expenses or the way to handle the lifestyle, especially, they no longer have their durable shield as before to encourage or give words of wisdom when they fell down. As a result, the matures will have a lot of embarrassment with their own life.

To conclude, although living with parents under the same roof still exist some drawbacks, those pale in comparison with the positivities. Personally, I completely endorse those mature people should continue to live with their parents because of the enormous benefits it brings.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15446  
Aug 3, 2021   #2
The topic restatement was well developed and clearly offered to the reader. However, the opinion statement lost its focus and clarity to the point where it became almost incomprehensible to the leader. Several readings of the opinion sentence Was required to decipher the two sense of the statement. This will be a negative GRA preliminary scoring consideration at the start.

The writer has not explained his reasons in the needed format. His already fuzzy opinion is further affected by his comparison reasoning in a single opinion essay. The prompt requires a 2 paragraph discussion of why his stated opinion is correct. As in a debate, the purpose is to prove the other side wrong. The writer lost focus and instead said "Both opinions are correct" instead of "My opinion is the only correct one in this arguement". Scores can only be provided for discussion paragraphs in support of the writers opinion statement.
linh_nguyen90 2 / 3  
Aug 3, 2021   #3
I suggest some changes in bold as below. Hope this help:

[i... having their own lives, even aftergraduating and getting well-paying jobs.

On one hand, it is undeniable that adults...

... financial budget that will cover various costs such as rent, personal activities, and food if they have their own lives.

... all the time looking for opportunities to

Consequently, those people living with parents will be more convenient than those who don't.

... living with parents while working also has some drawbacks.[/i]
Cuongnguyen543 2 / 3  
Aug 3, 2021   #4
Hi, i hope my opinion will help you ......

+spelling : error: -negativities - suggestion: nativities
- Overperformed. Over performed
- positivities Positives


Home / Writing Feedback / Adults continue to live with parents after they graduated
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳