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The advantage of study in college (Respond Essay)



puppy1111 3 / 4  
May 4, 2019   #1

Benefits of Earning a College Degree



According to Georgetown University Center on Education and Workforce (2017), Almost 190,000 is the number of colleges required job has raised. On the other hand, the job that doe not required a college degree has decreased for almost 6 million. There are many debates about is college degree necessary or not. Some people say that the college degree is necessary because it can give you more opportunities in future and can bring large amount of fortune. In contrast, many of people think the college degree is not necessary because they believe that college degree is not a guarantee that you will get a well-paid job and many famous people become successful without any college degree. In my opinion, I personally think that college degree is really necessary for a people in modern world because it can create higher chances to get a job, earn more money, and help to become a better citizen.

Having the higher chance to get a job is the first reason why college degree is really necessary. As mentioned by Georgetown University Center on Education and Workforce (2017), the need of people who has college degree has grown increasingly, while the needs of high school degree and lower are decreasing. Furthermore, Bureau of Labor Statistics (2017) states that more than a half of jobs in American require a college degree. The unemployment rate of people who graduate from college seems to be the lowest of all, only 2.5% of all people will be unemployed. People who has a college degree will have more chance to access to technology, in modern day the skill about technology has a very high demands, and build up more abilities. In addition, attending to college can help people to be more socialized and by knowing a lot people can create many opportunities in the work field.

The following reason why the college degree is necessary is earning more money. The college degree can get you a good work place, so the better work place means better paid job. People with college degree are earning seventy-one percent to one hundred thirty-six percent more than non-college graduated. Around 65,000 is an approximate number of how much do people with college degree earn and 92,000 is a number for people who have an advance degree. In contrast, people with high school degree earn around 35,000 only (Mead.) More income for people could reduce the nation debt. As US Department of Education Database mentioned people who do not engage in employment/education or training are having a higher chance to become criminal and receive a public health care. Around 51,000 dollars are spent on NEET people whose are under 25year old and almost 700,000 dollars on NEET who are older than 25. Above one in twenty of US population are NEET and the total of my money that have to be spent on is almost a 5 trillion dollars which is equal to fifty percent of US public debt.

Attending to college can help people to become better citizen is the last reason why the college is necessary. The term of being better person in this paragraph is participation in social work and not committing any crime. According to what Henry Bienan, President Emeritus of Northwestern University, stated in his study (2016) that more than a half of people who do not have a college degree are probably to go to the jail more than people who have a college and advance college degree. Furthermore, the number of participants in social almost half of them are college graduates and less than a fifth are people who graduated from high school. In addition, all of the blood donator in 2005 nine percent of them are college graduates which is five percent higher than high school graduates and seven percent higher than who did not graduate from high school.

In conclusion, as we can see what are the advantage of having a college degree and how can it effects our life such as having more opportunities in working life, financial effects, and making better citizen. If you still think that college degree is not necessary after you read this essay, you are welcome to do what you think is the most suitable for you. There might be a way to become successful life without college, but what I have written in this essay might be one of the easiest way to become successful.

Maria - / 1096  
May 4, 2019   #2
A couple of key revisions...

In your first paragraph:

[...] there are 190 000 job vacancies that require a college degree. This has raised over the years. On the other hand, jobs that do not require the degree decreased to almost 6 million. There are numerous debates about whether or not a college degree is necessary. [...] Conversely, some think that the degree is unnecessary because they believe that it does not guarantee a well-paid job. [...]

Notice that you do not need to continuously and repeatedly mention college degree altogether because it you can opt for using synonymous terms and changing around the structure of your sentences. Additionally, you should also evade using words that have more academic alternatives. For instance, not necessary should instead be unnecessary. These are minute mistakes, however it can benefit your essay exponentially.

When you're citing sources, it should always be placed at the end of sentences. Evade putting it elsewhere.

Try transitioning your paragraphs in a different manner also. The structure and manner you have right now is quite confusing; I'd rather that you use proper transition words such as "moreover" in order to showcase a more explicit movement between your paragraphs. Doing this can also enhance your essay's flow.

Best of luck.


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