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'advantage use of technology for humans' - GRE eassay


abhilasha 2 / 4  
Jul 24, 2012   #1
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

The speaker asserts that increase in technology in the world reduces the thinking capacity of humans. The technology is improving rapidly faster by the day and the world around us presents web of gizmos doing work for humans. I agree with this notion that our agility is deteriorating. But I would not like to agree to degrade technology as it is helping people gain cognizance.

The apt examples that agree with the statement are calculators, robots, computers and many more. Firstly, consider calculators, in education we make use of this in higher grades with basics already hammered into our brains at younger age. But repeated use of calculators has made our brain go into dormant stages. It has become so difficult for us to do simple math. Younger ones are more affected by this technology doing their simple basic math not in their brains but in computers or calculators or iPhones.

The robots are designed to think and interpret like humans thus reducing the work of humans at least that is what we think. But it is one reason that is making humans become passive. All the work simple or not people do it using these machines. Whenever people on the whole become sluggish, their brain too starts to hibernate little day by day. Another contributor to this effect is television and computers, humans try to spend their "leisure" time watching TV or gaming, which doesn't relieve them of their stress but adds to it.

The reason to disagree with the statement that says "technology is improving", consider the question who is improving? Is it not humans? Their ability is increasing with the technology. Though most of the work be done by machines there will be human brain involving that initiates the work, controls them, alters them if fault, and ends when result is obtained.

The computers on the other hand are beatific gift providing a means to ameliorate the knowledge by watching around the world videos, interacting with the professions, see the world, and come to know different perspectives on a trite issue. Nevertheless it brings unity all over the nation and the world.

In sum, all of this depends on how to embrace the technology, be it pro or con the technology will progress. In fact humans need to be educated about the advantage use of technology.

What will this essay score be?
deepakbaniya 3 / 92 2  
Jul 26, 2012   #2
The speaker

you are not listening to the person but reading his opinion. It is better to write "Author or writer."

improving rapidly faster (rapid and faster- they are same in meaning- get rid of redundancy))day by the day

Firstly, consider calculators, in education we make use of this in higher grades with basics already hammered into our brains at younger age

( This sentence is not clear)

reducing the manual work. of humans at least that is what we think.

humans become passive

All the work simple or not people do it using these machines.

Do you mean;Machines are doing all kind of simple to complex works.

The reason to disagree with the statement that says "technology is improving", consider the question who is improving?

( the essay prompt does not say "technology is improving." So this sentence is irrelevent to me. This paragraph below is also the same in nature: irrelevent.

The computers on the other hand are beatific gift providing a means to ameliorate the knowledge by watching around the world videos, interacting with the professions, see the world, and come to know different perspectives on a trite issue. Nevertheless it brings unity all over the nation and the world.

What i suggest is; reword them in meaningful sentence.You have good ideas but you could not write in english.
Focus on sentence structure and the ESSAY PROMPT.
Good Luck!
: )
OP abhilasha 2 / 4  
Aug 12, 2012   #3
Thank you :)
ll try to improving


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