This essay will consider these sides and draw some conclusions.
You have failed the essay in terms of restatement considerations at this point. The prompt, as you have provided it to me, shows the discussion as only needing a comparison of an advantage and disadvantage. There is no requirement presented for the writer to draw conclusions about the 2 sides.
In conclusions,while leading a single life ... given enough attention.
The conclusion will be another reason for the essay's low score. This time, the same errors in the paraphrasing were made in the summary conclusion.
The comparison paragraphs are well developed and explained. These are supportive of the original discussion requirement. However, the esor in the restatements are what will score down the final mark.The student must make an effort to not alter the discussion rephrasing next time.