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Ielts 2 : The advantages of supervision equipments that outweigh the disadvantages in society.


ichatea07 27 / 24 10  
Feb 3, 2016   #1
Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and dong (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras.). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In this modern ages, many experts succeed in inventing brand new technologies to global society. The existence of machines than can record human's behaviour has been applied in many sectors in life. These devices are possible to supervise people's words and actions, such as via a mobile phone or a security camera. In fact, those who are monitored mainly do not notice the the monitoring activity is happening. In this case, I believe that there are plenty of advantages in utilising these applications which are greater than the demerits that will come.

For many certain reasons, some users of the aforementioned gadgets commit to use these tools. There are two main benefits of using these materials. Firstly, the equipment can show evidences of accidental moments in a particular place accurately. This can be seen, for example, in the instalment of CCTVs within several mini markets. If there is a thief taking a product, the counter officers can easily notice and then claim what they see to the robber. Secondly, in a company, this device can visualise the quality of some employees in working. The employers can adjust what the punishment will be in a proper way after they catch the mistakes of these employees at work.

Despite all beneficial sides, there is one major drawback of the usage of monitoring tools. This stuff is able to reveal people's privacy which should be respected and hidden. Sometimes, this situation will threat te group of observed people. Others may misuse those people's secrets so as to gain profitable outcomes from the actions. Obviously, this contradicts the law relating to social norms and human's rights. Therefore, using a detector to see others' acts has a disadvantage.

In summary, I would argue that although the drawback of monitor stuff exists, human beings will gain more benefits by installing it in some right places, such as to guarantee the security of an area.

vangiespen - / 4,140 1449  
Feb 3, 2016   #2
Anissa, always give an aura of professionalism in all of your written work. Regardless of the kind of essya tha tyou are trying to write, you should never place the whole URL within the essay. If you will be allowed to use a clickable format for the link, then create a clickable link. Otherwise, just provide a description of the video, its title, and the social media site where it can be found. The full URL that you posted destroyed the format of the essay.

Next, you have to remember that there is a 3 paragraph minimum requirement for essays. So obviously, this essay doesn't fall under the required parameters. You know what that can mean for your final score. In fact, the restated prompt of the essay is not clear at all, Neither is the discussion that you are providing. This is a very badly written and developed essay that will not garner you a passing score in the end. Please revise this essay while you have a chance to do so as it is only a practice test essay.


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