Guys, help me to check my essay. Thank you.
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The importance of advertisement gives influence toward the increasing number of popular consumers of the goods. However, the types of the goods are not a premier necessity for people. Although people nowadays have consumer culture and are easy to be persuaded to follow the latest trend, I strongly believe that advertising is the main key of modern business that has many benefits for society.
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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The importance of advertisement gives influence toward(TOWARDS) the increasing number of popular consumers of the goods. However, the types of the goods are not a premier necessity for people. Although people nowadays have consumer culture and are easy to be persuaded to follow the latest trend, I strongly believe that advertising is the main key of modern business that has many benefits for (THE) society.
Without a doubt, people now live in a consumer culture. They are influenced quickly to buy some needs (GOODS) which actually should not be bought for their homes. For instance, people just follow the certain brand image thanks to their intention to increase a higher status in which advertising can manipulate people. As a result, people are triggered by the advertisement to buy more and more products that have the branded goods.
In terms of the main reason why people even buy the goods that they do not need is the power of advertising to obtain the products. Most of (THE) people cannot refuse the advertisement that gives them many offers from the sales. This is because companies tell all contents of their products so that people are easy to choose them. People, for example, are influenced to gain the benefits of those goods in which they see the advertisement on TV or other media, then they immediately buy it in the nearest market. In addition, people need to think that advertising inform (GIVES) us much information about the choices people want and this can reduce the high number of unemployment.
To sum up, it is evident that even though the advertisement causes bad habit in society, it has a pivotal role to solve unemployment and also gives many advantages not only in the improvement of the good sales, but also for people generally. The advertisers should make the great influences for the society so people do not feel (to be - DELETE) deceived before buying the goods that are produced (BY) many companies.
Adhisti, your essay is good, just check my help that is written in parenthesis, this are my suggestions, proof read this article before you send it and BEST OF LUCK!!!
Without a doubt, people now live in a consumer culture(repetition) . They are influenced quickly to buy some needs(if they are "needs", it is not rational to say "they should not be purchased") which actually should not be bought for their homes. For instance, people just follow the certain brand image thanks to their intention to increase a higher status in which advertising can manipulate people. As a result, people are triggered by the advertisement to buy more and more products that have the branded goods.
I think you deviated from the topic. First, this is an "agree or disagree" topic, and you need to support YOUR OWN OPINION (agree or disagree) through at least two body paragraphs. Second, you need to say why people buy things they don't need. For example, you could have said that they think they are inferior if they don't have a wide range of products, or you could say that advertising decreases our choices and narrows down our options to the popular brands we think they are made in the best quality (manipulating people's opinion). Talking about the influences of ads on employment rate and other benefits does not hold water. Find the keywords of the prompt first, and stick to those keywords throughout the essay.
Hope this helps.
Good luck,
Cheers,
Ahmad
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