Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Age at which children are supposed to enter the structured education system in schools



ITW 2 / 6  
Jul 23, 2020   #1
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at at least 7 years old.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.



Different parts of the world have different standards for the age at which the children are supposed to enter the structured education system in schools. Some argue that it should be started at the toddler years to get the maximum advantage of the age while others against it as it can ruin the childhood. In my opinion, formal school education should start at at least 7 years of age allowing natural growth of a child.

Firstly, childhood education is an extremely sensitive and delicate subject which should be handled carefully, as it will decide the entire life of a person. As per the child psychologists, first few years is the most important period of a child as that is the time when the new born is exploring and discovering the world around him to develop natural instincts. According to the experts, they should be allowed to quest and experience the world without much guidance and disturbance from the environment. If the formal education is started at an earlier age, toddlers would lose their opportunity to explore the world their own and will disrupt the natural pattern of learning, leading to poor creativity.

Secondly, around age 7 would be an ideal age to start structured learning, as by then the child has acquired one's basic traits. It is considered that the brain is ready to receive the knowledge and develop skills towards and well-rounded adult.

Although there is a controversy over the age at which the formal schooling to be started, when psychological and scientific aspects are considered, age 7 or higher seems suitable for starting formal primary education. By allowing a natural pace for learning during the childhood, benefits of the education could be reaped.

Bettie Orion 3 / 11  
Jul 24, 2020   #2
Hello! Here are my suggestions. Hope this helps:
+ it can ruin the childhood
+ allowing the natural growth of a child.
+ As per the child psychologists, the first few ... when the new born newborn is ... to develop natural instincts. (natural instincts may create a tautology)
+ If the formal education
+ ... explore the world on their own
OP ITW 2 / 6  
Jul 24, 2020   #3
Hi Bettie,
Thanks a lot and appriciate your suggestions and it really helps.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Jul 24, 2020   #4
Okay, you almost got the presentation right. Your prompt paraphrase was on point until you gave your personal opinion, which should not have been presented in the question response portion. You see, your opinion can only come after an analysis of the 2 given discussion presentations. The format for the reasoning paragraphs should have been:

Sentence 1: Public point of view presentation using gender free pronouns
Sentence 2: Reason supporting this discussion
Sentence 3: Your personal opinion using first person pronouns
Sentence 4: Reason
Sentence 5: Supporting example or Additional supporting reason for your personal opinion

This would result in a clear and concise 4 paragraph discussion presentation for the given discussion. While you could write a 5 paragraph format presentation for this, Showing an advanced writing style by being able to compare and contrast using your personal opinion in the paragraph will result in a better C&C score for you.

By the way, avoid referring to other sources of information in task 2 essays. The only acceptable reasons are based on:
- Personal experience
- Personal knowledge
- Public opinion
- Public knowledge

Do not refer to experts or psychologists in the essay because that refers to researched information, which you do not have access to at the center. Additionally, you are not being scored on the accuracy or truthfulness of your response. Only on the clarity and coherence of your explanations. That is why the aforementioned basis of information is what is accepted in the presentation. You can make the information up, as long as you do not refer to any information that will appear researched in the discussion. In fact, you do not need to refer to any source for the information. That is why genderless pronouns are encouraged in the discussion presentations.
OP ITW 2 / 6  
Jul 25, 2020   #5
Dear Holt, Many thanks for the indepth analysis of the essay and valuble suggestions. However I am in doubt regarding your point that we should not present our opinion in the question response section. I know that logically it should come after the analysis of the discussion presentations, but from what I have seen, usually it is presented in the question respose section. Is it according to the nature of the question?

The format that you suggested for reasoning paragraphs is logical and I will try and follow that in future.

Your idea regarding referring to other sources of information is well understood.


Home / Writing Feedback / Age at which children are supposed to enter the structured education system in schools
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳